Still Friends?
by LovelyBitterWater
Summary: Modern AU. After the end of her twenty-three year long marriage, Elsie becomes a little lonely. This is where her best friend, Charlie Carson comes into play. Their friendship just got a little more heated...
1. Still Friends?

**I have been an avid reader of Chelsie for the past few years now and I finally have had the courage to release one of my fics. Loosely based on the movie,** _ **Friends with Benefits**_ **. Some might consider this OOC but, I find them to just be a variation of the Charles and Elsie we all know and love. This is an AU so keep that in mind.**

* * *

"Still friends, right?" She muttered in the darkness of the room.

Charles heaved a heavy sigh but Elsie didn't notice as she panted and released little mewls of pleasure. He pressed his forehead into her lower belly and kissed her there softly, which promptly left her legs shaking for more.

"Still friends."

She let out a breathy laugh and a broad smile. "Good."

* * *

Elsie and Joe separated in January.

The night she knew that it was over between her and Joe she swept her keys up from the kitchen table and drove. She sped through the streets and her first thought went to him.

Right about now he would be on his couch nursing a bit of brandy and reading some old book. His glasses would be slipping from the bridge of his nose and his hair would be uncombed and wild. He would be showered and clean and smell warm, with a hint of spiced ginger and a musk that was all his own. His nightclothes consisted of sleep pants and a clean shirt but she knew that as he sat he was cuddled in the sweater she bought him two Christmas' ago.

He was her only thought.

Elsie parked her car and she sat there in front of his house like a fool. The night was cold and the heat in her car was broken - she told Joe two weeks ago that she needed him to take it to the shop while she was away for business. She exhaled and saw her breath swirl in a faded cloud. Her eyes closed and she tried to forget what the happened.

" _Damn it, Joe!" She slammed her hand on the counter and turned to her husband. Her eyes blazed fury and fear and sorrow as she listened to her husband confess to her._

" _I'm sorry, Els." He hung his head in defeat. His hands flailing as he tried to come up with something to say "If you could just let me explain."_

 _Elsie raised her head and gazed at the man she loved. Her eyes pooled with tears. What a waste of a marriage, what a waste of a life._

 _Twenty-three years._

 _"It meant nothing, dear. Just a fling." He crept closer to her, his eyes searching her own for any sign of forgiveness._

 _"You were gone for so long and I was lonely..."_

 _"I never thought this would happen…"_

 _"We had a few drinks and…"_

 _"She's gone, Elsie…"_

 _"It meant nothing, my love…"_

Excuses.

* * *

"Oh, god." Her left hand slid her fingers through his hair, intermingling her hand with his dark locks. "Please." She begged.

Charles' gaze traveled up the slim body of his best friend as he stared at her face in twisted pleasure. Elsie's mouth hung open and her other hand was twisted in his bed sheets. Her breasts were right in his field of vision, her nipples were hard and still damp from the moisture of his mouth.

God, he loved her so much.

He buried his face back between her thighs, tasting her.

She was perfect.

He laid flat on his stomach, his fingers pressed hard into her thighs and he tried to keep her hips from bucking into his mouth. Charles focused mainly on the pleasure he was giving her and how he wanted her to remember his mouth, the way he purposely made her come closer and closer to edge only to slow down at the last moment. She soon got frustrated.

"Please, Charles. No more teasing, that wasn't part of the deal." She sighed almost in defeat but as soon as the word's left her mouth he made sure he gave her the most powerful orgasm she ever had. He raised his eyebrows high as she practically screamed his name. He rested his chin on her lower belly and chuckled as she came down from her high.

"Don't laugh, Charlie" She smiled as he grasped her breast again, rolling her nipple back to a standing peak. He traveled up her body and fixed his gaze on her lips, wishing he could taste them.

But that wasn't part of deal.

* * *

Elsie left that night.

To this day she still didn't understand why she drove to his flat and never got out of the car. She should have walked straight up to that door, banged on it as hard as she could and confess to him her sorrows. But she didn't. She put the car in reverse and left.

Charles found out about Joe a week later. He got a phone call from Beryl and she told him the news. She also informed him that Elsie didn't want to talk to anyone about it. That he should give her some 'time' to collect her thoughts and her things because she was moving out soon anyways. He told Beryl that if there was anything that he could do for Elsie that he was just a phone call away and he begged her to relay that message to his friend.

She didn't call.

She didn't drop by.

No texts. No emails.

Hell, he would have been pleased to see a _letter_ in her handwriting.

But he took Beryl's advice and waited for her.

* * *

July, six months after the separation and exactly eleven days after the divorce was finalized; that's when she came around.

Elsie stood at his front door, her hands grasping tightly to her purse. Her gaze was directed towards his door mat and her feet as they brushed a pebble across the words that read 'Welcome'. She bit into her lower lip and her eyebrows knitted together in confusion and worry.

 _What if he turns me away?_

 _What if he scoffs at me and tells me that I'm not welcome here, his home?_

 _What if he yells? What if he hates me? What if…_

Her mind was jumbled with all the 'what-ifs' that have manifested over the past six months, setting her on edge once again and making her realize that maybe she shouldn't open this door again. Let their friendship lie, and don't mess everything up and just leave him be. But, God, did she miss him. He was her best friend, and she can't believe that it had been half a year since she came around to visit him. She kept making up excuses when Beryl relayed the concerns Charles had.

 _He's worried, Elsie. Just call him._

 _Charles asked about you again last night. He wants you to know that he is there to help. I think you should really talk to him._

 _God! You are so selfish, Elsie! Don't you see that you are hurting him? He's your best friend!_

That's it.

She steeled herself and knocked on his door with enough force that she knew her knuckles would bruise from it.

She could hear his footsteps. Her heart pounded in her chest and if she didn't know any better she would have thought she was dying. He's getting closer. Maybe she should run? Get in her car and drive away? That was for the best.

Just as she was ready to turn away from his door, it opened.

* * *

He stood there in shock.

He couldn't believe she was standing there on his door step.

Her hair was shorter he noted, and her eyes seemed to have lost a little of the light that he always remembered her having. She looked scared. Was she scared of him? She inhaled a deep breath like she was about to say something to him but she abruptly shut her mouth. Gazing into her eyes he knew she was on the verge of something.

Charles took off his reading glasses and gave her a dim smile.

His large frame leaned against the front door, pushing it back to show that she could enter whenever she pleased.

They didn't speak they just stood.

She fumbled with her purse and he twirled his glasses around in his hand, neither one looking at each other. They were both waiting for the other to make a move but, nothing.

Another minute went by, and then another and then just when Charles was about to give up hope she stepped through his door, grazing his upper arm as she headed towards his kitchen. He smiled at this. No words were spoken but he knew exactly what was about to happen.

He watched her trail away and drop her purse heavily on the hallway table.

"Tea?" He questioned as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

When they sat down in his living room the first few hours they discussed trivial things; how hot it was this summer, how was work, has he started his next novel. Trivial. Then after he brought out a bottle of wine they began to open up more, laugh a little. He told her about the damn dog that has taken fancy to his garden and how every morning he sits out back waiting to smack its rear out of his yard. She laughs at this; a good hearty laugh that he hasn't heard in so long. She smiles and throws her head back as he keeps up his antics, he tells her all about his new neighbors too,

" _I haven't written a damn thing since those people moved in next door! I swear, Els. They are either throwing pointless parties or going at it like two rabbits in heat!"_

That _really_ got her going.

Her smile was what he missed the most. She had the prettiest smile he had ever seen, not even the models on the telly or in the magazines could compare to her beauty. He grinned like a damn fool and she caught his gaze.

"What?"

"I missed you, Elsie."

"I missed you too, Charlie."

* * *

"I'm sorry." She muttered.

Two cups of tea, three glasses of wine, and two healthy glasses of brandy and she finally said it. She swirls the amber liquid in her glass around and hides her gaze once again. She licks her lips and tries to think of what she wants to say first, what her first apology is to be referring to.

She settled her glass on the coffee table in front of them and adjusted her seating on his couch. He was pressed up against the back of the couch with his feet propped up on the table. At her apology he didn't move, just continued to stare at the place where she placed her drink. He frowned as the atmosphere changed so abruptly.

Furrowing his brow and downing the last bit of the liquor, his empty glass joined her own.

"Sorry?"

Elsie turned her body towards him, gathering her feet underneath her.

"Yes."

"Hmm."

"Do you doubt my apology?"

He glared at her and shook his head, "Of course not, Els."

"Then why the the long face." She tried to lighten the mood, add a bit of humor that was present not too long ago.

Charles gathered his brows and looked towards the ceiling. He didn't want to become upset, he didn't want her to be scared away from him. He just wanted to tell her what was on his mind.

"I haven't seen you in six months, Elsie." His head lolled in her direction and his shoulders shrugged nonchalantly. "I've known you for the better part of you life, we've been friends since university for Christ's sake." At his word's she flinched and retreated her body farther away from him.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head at her response to his words.

"I'm missed you like crazy, dear." Charles placed his hand in the middle of the couch and she immediately grasped it. "You just left, and I tried to give you space and then it became apparent to me that maybe you didn't want my friendship anymore –"

"Never."

"None the less," he smiled at her response. "I was scared."

Elsie rubbed her thumb across his large palm. She bit her bottom lip and sighed.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

Summer passed.

Autumn faded.

Winter arrived with a hit to Elsie's emotions, memories of earlier that year were resurfaced as the seasons changed. She was happy though. Charles had been nothing but supportive after they rekindled their friendship and he noticed she gradually started to smile and laugh more often.

Beryl had organized a weekly girls night for Els. Usually these events involved large quantities of alcohol and plenty of baked goods from Beryl's shop and more often than not Cora and Isobel Crawley joined them. Charles thinks this is where Elsie got the damn idea anyways. Beryl and her dirty mouth, probably feeding his Els with information about how to approach him with the subject.

Lord.

She came to him in the beginning of December with a proposition and a batch of Beryl's apple tart.

* * *

"Charlie?" She walked through his front door, slamming it with the heel of her foot as she balanced the box that Beryl's sent her with.

"Just a moment!" He shouted from the bedroom.

She smiled and placed her purse and the package on the kitchen counter.

Elsie had called him and had told him that she had something very important to discuss with him and if he was willing to talk to her after she went to Beryl's. Confused he had agreed that they should see one another at seven that evening and that she better had bring something for him or he would be quite crossed. And of course, she made Beryl whip up a batch of apple tart just for Charlie.

She pulled down a platter to place the tarts on for him to enjoy.

"Hello," he grumbled as he exited his room with a towel wrapped around his shoulders and wet hair curling on the front of his forehead. "Damned dryer broke on me, sorry about the hair."

She shook her head as she had no words, his hair was one of the reasons that made him so attractive. For his age he had a full head of hair, curly and more grey than black. But attractive none the less. Elsie flushed as she thought about how she would like to thread her fingers through it.

Just once.

"Els, you shouldn't have." He kissed her cheek as he snatched a piece of tart from the plate, walking behind her to fetch the bottle of wine that was chilling in the fridge.

"Well you threatened me if I didn't bring you something, as you well remember." She placed her left hand on her hip and the other on the counter and she watched him retrieve some wine glasses from the cupboard. "Anyways, Beryl said that I should tell you that you should just thank her later." She dissembled the box and threw it in the bin. "At the Christmas party, Charles."

His shoulders dropped and he groaned.

"We have this same conversation every year, Elsie." He handed her the glass of wine as they traveled to the couch, which had a nice fire going in front of it.

"And every year you go anyways. So you might as well shove your excuse this year, Charlie." She pointed her painted finger at him, "You are going."

"Of course." He chuckled.

Charles removed the towel around his neck and retreated to his room to place it in the hamper. When he came out he was wrapped in the sweater that she gifted him almost three years ago.

"You love that thing don't you?" She said was she wrapped herself up on the couch with one of his fleece throws.

"No, I just wear it so your feelings aren't hurt." He sat down next to her on the couch and he flashed a wicked smiled towards her in jest.

"Christmas makes you grumpy." She huffed. Sipping her wine again.

She felt the warmth his body radiating as he sat next to her. God, how on earth was she suppose to broach this subject with him? Maybe she should just forget it.

 _No._

Beryl made a damn good point and to be quite fair she knew that Charlie would do just about anything for her. Even if it was something so crazy as this.

"So," He said as he readjusted the blanket to wrap it around his legs as well. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence."

Elsie glanced at his face. He was so damn oblivious. She was almost tempted to roll her eyes at him and scoff but, no. This was not a joke. This was serious. And if he declined it would not affect their friendship, she wouldn't mind. Truly she wouldn't. There is little this man doesn't know about her and there is very little that this man hasn't seen. Thirty years of friendship leads to some awkward moments, including nudity.

"I want you to listen and not interrupt me, no laughing, and absolutely _no talking_ til I have finished. Are we understood?" She was strong. She could do this.

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes."

"Good." She let out a sigh in relief.

"As you well know I've been single, alone, and essentially deprived of any relationship for almost a year now."

He nodded but she could tell he was confused.

"We have been friends for so long, Charlie. I would never want to ruin our friendship, I would never want to jeopardize almost thirty years with you because…" She took another sip of her drink and expressed her thoughts with a flail of her hand, "Well, because you are my best friend. And we love each other and now that Joe's gone I don't have many people to rely on. Except for you, because you have always been there. And well," She was beginning to ramble and Charles was extremely confused.

"I'm sorry but maybe you should try and get to the point, Els."

 _What the hell was going on with her?_

 _This isn't a confession for her love is it?_

"I loved Joe. More than I have ever loved any man in my entire life."

 _Nope._

He nodded his understanding and encouraged her to continue.

"He was really the only lover I ever had." At this Charles took a large gulp of the wine and began to shift in his place.

"I know this is hard to believe, Charlie. But even this old broad needs someone to love." She placed her glass on the table and took his hand into hers.

"That is why I am asking you,"

 _Maybe she will confess her love to me?!_

 _Maybe she wants a real relationship._

"I want you to be my lover."

* * *

"Shit." He muttered as he felt her. Her little nub enclosed in the warmth of her. So wet. He wanted to please her so much. He was her friend but more importantly he was her lover now and he needed to know what she wanted.

"Just stay there, like that for bit." Her legs were spread and her knees were slightly bent as he laid between them. His thumb lazily stroking her clit. She was fully aroused, he could tell by the slickness of her folds. Her nipples were taut and stood proudly for his eyes to wander over.

"Come here." She gestured back towards her breasts which were practically aching for his touch again. "Try your mouth."

At this he stared at her, this whole ordeal was crazy!

"You want me to…"

"Yes. Please, Charlie."

He pulled one of her nipples into his mouth and she cried out.

"Harder." She said and she took his hand that wasn't preoccupied between her folds and pressed it against her other breast. Which he in turn gripped tightly and rolled the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She murmured her approval and smiled.

His mouth cherished her breasts, covering them in tiny kisses, nipping them gently. He paid particular attention to the small scar that traveled on her left breast close to the valley of her chest. Her drug his tongue across this particular scar during the worshiping of her body and pressed many open mouth kisses on it, to show her that she was wanted.

Marks, scars, warts and all.

* * *

"What?" His brows were furrowed and he was well and truly agitated at this point. Was this a joke? Charles put his glass on the table next to her and removed the blanket that was housing their legs. He stood and walked around the table to pace in front of the fire.

"Your lover?" He walks across the carpet and his expressive brows showed so many emotions that Elsie almost laughed at his attempt to understand.

"Yes." She gave him a gentle smile.

"So…" He stopped and stared at her. "I'm sorry, Els. I just don't know what you mean."

She motioned for him to sit down beside her again. He stared at her in shock, barely moving.

"Charles, sit down please."

He gradually made his body towards his chair, not on the couch. To this she merely sighed and rolled her eyes at him.

"I propose that you and I engage in a sort of 'friends with benefits' scenario."

"A what?!" His whole face became beet red. He couldn't believe it. Elsie had never been so blunt before. Sure they had joked about other people and their sex lives. Celebrities and others but never had they approached the subject of their personal relationships and _that_ aspect of their.

"Friends with benefits, Charles." She rose from her place on the couch and handed him his glass of wine, settling closer to him at the farther end of the couch. "I want us to be lovers with no attachments. I want us to use our bond of friendship and essentially use that connection to have sex."

"Elsie!" He gasped.

"What? It's brilliant, Charlie!" She couldn't understand why he was so appalled by this subject. She knew he must have had some sort of attraction to her because she has caught him on multiple occasions having a peak at her breasts or even a long look at her bum. She was young then, but they both aged well and who cares? They were friends and friends don't care what the other looks like. "We could explain to one another what we like, sexually. And as the saying goes, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."

"Jeez, Els." He couldn't take this. He downed his wine and handed it to her to fill up his glass again. Charles placed his head in his hands and started to jitter his foot at the uncomfortable atmosphere around them. How could he look at her again? He avoided her eyes as she handed him a full glass of wine again.

"So, what do you think?"

 _How was she so calm?_

"Think? I can't think right now!" He practically shouted at her.

"Well, fine!" She rose from her seat and went to the kitchen.

"Oh, come on. Elsie!" He followed her to the kitchen and started stuttering out a reply, "Well – I – We – Damn it!" He slammed his fist on the counter which scared her.

She stared at him. Her lips pursed. Her arms crossed.

Elsie shook her head and avoided his pressing gaze. God, she screwed up. She bowed her head almost in defeat and shrugged.

"I'm sorry, Charlie." She moved towards where her purse was on the island in his kitchen. "Maybe I should just go." Lifting her bag she walked towards the door that lead into the hallway towards the exit.

As fast as he could he blocked her and she nearly collided with his body. Huffing she gazed down at her feet, covered in a pair of his wooly socks that he let her borrow ages ago. She shook her head and she could feel the sob welling up in her body. Tears filled her eyes but she refused to let him see.

It seemed so simple. And when Beryl tried to explain to her how this would benefit her and her sexually deprived aging body, it seemed so easy. She knew that maybe this could work between them. How could they mess up a relationship that they have had for so long? Sex couldn't damage them. It was impossible for sex to kill their thirty year friendship, she just knew it. And if they ended up finding someone else, they wouldn't be hurt because they had that friendship to back them up. And neither one of them were in love with each other as far as she knew so what was the problem?

"Just let me leave, Charlie. It's no big deal. I promise." She looked him in his eyes to show him that this misunderstanding hadn't hurt her. "I'm serious, we can just forget about it and act like it never happened." She smiled at him and muttered an excuse me, which he obligingly let her pass.

He didn't turn around but merely listened to her pull on her winter boots by his door.

As soon as he heard her keys being lifted from her purse and the familiar squeak of the handle being turned, he spoke.

"Wait a minute, Elsie."

* * *

They polished off the bottle of wine and when she suggested he opened another one he merely jested that she wanted him drunk.

"Not drunk, Charlie. Just a little tipsy." She smiled.

She grabbed another bottle from the kitchen and sauntered into the living room. She gazed at him as he was contently sitting in his arm chair.

"My one condition," At this his ears perked, his gaze locked with her own. "No kissing."

His brows furrowed.

"Why?" He questioned.

"It's too intimate. Kissing carries love. And seeing as how we aren't in love I don't find it necessary." She shrugged and she pattered her way to his bedroom door.

"You coming?" She flashed a smile in his direction and his eyes widened.

"You wanted to start tonight?" He called from his position on his chair.

She peaked her head through the opening of his door.

"Unless you would prefer that I leave?"

"No!" He stood and walked towards her. "I mean, you don't have to go, Els."

"Mhmm." She gave him a flirty bat of her lashes. "Well, come along Mr. Carson. You have a lot of studying to do and your exam starts soon."

And with that he smiled so broadly and brightly, anyone would have guessed he was the luckiest man in the world.

* * *

"Take everything off." She demanded.

"You want me to strip? Jeez, Els." He said as he removed the sweater folding it neatly and placing it on the chair beside the dresser. "One would think you are trying to get into my pants."

"Stop, Charlie." She giggled as she started to remove her socks. "Be serious. It's evaluation time."

He removed his shirt and started to unbutton his trousers. She had already removed her pants and he gazed longingly at her legs. She was so much tinier than him but it seemed like her legs went on forever. Elsie pulled her jumper over her head and stared at him. His hands still grasping the button of his trousers, staring open mouthed at her.

"Trousers." She demanded.

He was pulled from his dazed day dream and pushed his trousers to the ground.

"Boxers?" She questioned as she stared at his groin. "Mr. Carson, I would have guessed briefs, to be quite honest."

"Well, if you prefer it, I can change." He said as he shrugged at the predicament.

"I would prefer it if you took them off, Mr. Carson." She crossed her arms across her breasts which led him to stare at them.

"Large." He commented towards her breasts that were covered by her arms.

"Like you didn't know! I remember the summer at the loch when you walked upon me without my top on. You were petrified! I thought you had never seen breasts before by the way you had reacted."

"Never some as fine as yours, my dear."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend." She blushed at his gaze and trailed her eyes back towards his boxers which by the looks of it, encased a rather large member.

"Take the bra off, Elsie. It's only fair. Under the circumstances you have two articles of clothing on and I only have one." He pointed out.

She smirked at his logic and in a flourish she removed her bra and her breasts were revealed to his gaze. Age had done it's duty but in his eyes she had not changed a bit. He found that time had done nothing but wonders to her. And he was feeling so lucky that she felt comfortable enough to share everything with him. Regardless of his feelings for her and the circumstance they were in, he knew that he was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on.

"Beautiful."

"Now…" She blushed again. "Together we remove our underpants and then, we will explain what we like, and I suppose go from there."

"Agreed."

She slipped her thumbs under the waistband of her underwear and he did the same,

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

* * *

To say she wasn't impressed would be an understatement. She gazed at his semi-hard member and almost licked her lips. She had missed sex and she had missed the feeling of someone inside of her, she was tired of being alone and feeling the emptiness of everything surrounding her. Charles could help her. And help her he would.

"Not bad." She said as he gaze traveled up his body to where one of his brows was quirked is consideration of her statement.

"But not good?" He said with a hint of disappointment.

"It's good, Charlie." She laughed at his insecurity. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Neither do you." He said as he gestured towards her lithe body.

"So how would you like to go about this?" She said as her eyes landed on the bed. "I'm ticklish behind my knee, don't touch me there or I will laugh."

She climbed into bed and began to list off some of her other concerns, "I achieve orgasms at a relatively slower rate than I used to but, it's not impossible. Also, I prefer my breasts to be touched and not _groped_. Your tongue is your biggest asset when it comes to my body. If anything else comes up I'll be sure to mention it." She snuggled into the middle of the bed with her knees shut and her upper body propped up on her elbows. "And you?"

He was pulled from his reverie and he shrugged.

"Don't bite me."

"That's it?" She said with a surprised look on her face.

"Elsie, I promise that whatever you do, and whatever you say will not affect the outcome of this situation." He crawled up to her and spread her knees as he positioned himself above her.

"Just… please don't bite me."

* * *

He was hard.

God he wanted her more than anything.

"Are you ready?" He mumbled to her.

"Foreplay is over, Charlie. You passed the class." She giggled when he smack her bum at the cheeky response. He grasped her breasts one last time, his hands roamed over her stomach, looping around her waist and eventually grasping her full bum in his hands and pressing their pelvises together.

He waited one last time for her approval as she nodded one last time before he entered her.

"Charles." She muttered as he started to increase the tempo of his hips.

In. Out. In. Out.

"Faster."

He bent his head back towards her breasts, taking her left nipple back into his mouth. He increased his pace and sucked hard on the tip of her breast. She moaned his name and reached behind him to add more force to his thrust.

"Harder."

"Elsie, you drive a pretty large bargain." He released her breasts from his mouth and stared at her eyes, full of pleasure and lust. She closed her eyes and smiled at his comment but never replied as he drove harder and faster into her.

Her breath became shorter and he knew that she was close to her second release.

Her head dug into the pillow as her back arched off of the bed. Her fingernails dug into his back but he knew she didn't mean him any harm.

He could feel her tightening around him, waiting for her release. He grasped the side of her neck and forced her to turn her head away to which he proceeded to place open mouthed kisses to her neck and nipping at her jugular. She moaned at this in response to sudden ministrations to her neck.

Charles removed his mouth and whispered into her ear, "Come for me, lass."

She cried out and he soon followed.

* * *

"Wow." She said when he fell to the side of her. She wrapped the white sheet around her body and her flushed face showed the utter relief of her long overdue completion.

"Yeah." He said with a heavy sigh, his breath still coming in short breaths.

They both stared at the ceiling above them, feeling like an eternity.

"Was that whole…" She waved her hand in the air trying to find the words for what she was trying to say, "The lass, thing." Her head turned to him.

"Yes?" He stared back at her.

"That was good." She bit her lip and flushed again at his intense stare, letting the sheet drift away to reveal her breasts again. He nodded and returned his gaze back towards the ceiling above them. After a while when it came apparent to Elsie that Charles wasn't going to say anything she rose from her position, sat up in his bed and wrapped the sheet around her breasts again.

"How are you feeling? About everything?" She said as she stared at the man that she just had sex with. "I mean – well, do you have any… regrets?" She fiddled her fingers that were placed delicately in her lap.

"Els." He said as he rose to a sitting position beside her.

"The last thing I feel right now is regret."

And with that she smiled at her best friend. Glad that they had gone through with her suggestion.

He practically threw her back onto the mattress and crawled again between her thighs. He loved this part of her, and he was so glad that he was able to taste her. He drug he hands up her calves, giving her a cheeky grin when he skipped over the backs of her knees, and landing on the back of her thighs. He began kissing her inner thighs.

* * *

" _Still friends, right?" She muttered in the darkness of the room._

 _Charles heaved a heavy sigh but Elsie didn't notice as she panted and released little mewls of pleasure. He pressed his forehead into her lower belly and kissed her there softly, which promptly left her legs shaking for more._

"Still friends."

 _She let out a breathy laugh and a broad smile. "Good."_

* * *

 **Wow, almost 6,000 words! What a doozie. Sorry for any grammaticall errors, I reread this twice but we all make mistakes. I was planning for this to be a one-shot but if you guys want more just tell me. I don't think this will be a full fledge story but maybe there could be a part two? Just let me know with some reviews!**


	2. I Love You?

**So many of you were so kind with your comments I just HAD to write a second bit to this. Most of my inspiration was drawn from Sia's song Breathe Me. I think it perfectly captures Charles and Elsie's relationship to a T. I hope you guys enjoy it because I had a lot of fun writing this.**

* * *

 _Be my friend, hold me  
Wrap me up, unfold me  
I am small, and needy  
Warm me up, and breathe me_

* * *

 _I love you, Els._

 _I love you too, Charlie.  
_

* * *

Charles walked through the miserable icy weather of England.

It was two weeks till Christmas and he still hadn't found Elsie the right gift. Anyways, what was the right gift for a friend thatdefinitely _wasn't_ a girlfriend but still wanted to have sex as if she _were_ his girlfriend?

Jewelry wouldn't be appropriate he concluded after hours staring at the various hues and shapes of diamonds at the mall kiosk, surrounded by men in the same predicament he was in. No, that wasn't right. Half of them were buying for their mistresses. Elsie wasn't his mistress. And the other half were buying for their wives. She definitely wasn't his wife either.

The wind whipped furiously at his cheeks, turning them a deep shade of red and making them sore to the touch. He shrugged his coat back onto his shoulders and folded the collar upward so it gave him some sort of protection from the weather.

All the while as he walked his thoughts travelled back to her.

 _She's not your girlfriend._

 _She will never be, your –_

 _Wife._

* * *

"Where are you going?" He muttered as she crawled out of his bed for what seemed to be the millionth time. Charles grasped the pillow that her head just vacated and wrapped his arms around it, trying to relish in the warmth she left behind. Trying to inhale her scent that was imbedded into the soft cushion.

Elsie shrugged on her silk gown and tied a firm knot around her waist.

"I have to bathe, Charles. It's not lady-like to laze around bed all day with my lover."

His eyes slowly followed her as she made her way to his bathroom.

Her feet pattered across his hardwood floor, delicate and hardly making a sound. Her thighs were taunt and strong, years of walking up and down the stairs of her workplace. Her hips swayed just the right amount. He can only imagine what her breasts were doing, bouncing up and down each step she took.

Before he knew it she was turning around and facing his direction with a stern look on her face.

"Well?" She said as she folded her arms across her chest.

Charles blushed furiously, knowing he was caught in the act.

"W-Well? What?" He gripped the pillow tighter and gave a good hard blink to collect himself.

"Are you coming?" Elsie toyed with the knot she just tied so tightly and gave a cheeky grin in the direction of her big bear of a man.

"Because," She began to slowly unknot the silk, "I thought that a man with your intellect – "the tie became undone and the gown opened just enough for Charles to see the expanse of her chest and the skin of her inner thigh. "Would know when a woman is offering her body to you."

She pushed the gown down the base of her shoulders, one side at a time.

Slowly. Agonizingly slowly.

Just when Charles thought his mind was going to explode with anticipation of Elsie's big reveal, she promptly pulled her gown together and tied it even tighter than before.

"But I guess I was wrong. You, Charles Carson, are stupider than I thought." She gave him the biggest grin he had ever seen and a saucy wink and retreated into the bathroom, leaving Charles wide eyed, and wanting. He could feel the sweat ready to fall from his brow and his member was achingly hard.

"Els?" He called from his position on the bed. Waiting for her to come back so they could have another tussle before they had to leave for Beryl's.

"Yes, my dear?" She shouted as she turned on the bath allowing the rushing water to overpower the magnitude of her voice. But nothing could mask the heavy sigh of her friend in the other room. Elsie shook her head.

 _Daft man._

"I was only teasing, Charlie." She appeared back in the doorway, having removed her silk gown. Her nipples were hard as the cool air brushed them. She sucked her lower lip into her mouth and bit hard. Her hand hovered over the abdomen as she waited for his reaction to her body, fully nude and aroused.

He sprung to life when he saw the innocence creeping through her normal sturdy, iron appearance.

 _She wanted him_.

* * *

"What on Earth has you in such a chipper mood?" Richard Clarkson said to his best mate as they both enjoyed a pint. They had just finished their third round of beer and were slowly finishing over their hearty dinner at the pub. Every week, each Wednesday, at the same place, at the same time, Charlie and Richard both met to enjoy dinner and discuss the previous week. Something they had begun right out of college, when they hardly saw one another. They both agreed it was the only way to keep their friendship alive without interfering with their personal lives or work too much. It was their system.

Charles Carson rubbed the lobe of his ear and muttered a calm, "Nothing."

Richard eyed him suspiciously, and watched as Charles took another deep swig of his brew and wiped his mouth with the napkin that was placed in his lap. ( _Ever the gentleman)_

"You're lying through your teeth." Richard chuckled and shook his head at the nativity of his friend, "You've always been the worst of liars. You always rub your ear when you lie, Charlie. You have since we were young."

Charles opened his mouth in defense for the accusation but paused just before and sighed in defeat.

"It's nothing, Richard." His raised brows and shoulder shrug didn't convince Richard otherwise.

Richard's gaze became narrow as he looked Charlie up and down. What in the hell had gotten into him? One minute he was laughing and having a good time with his friend and the next they were enveloped in silence. He drew his brows together in concern.

Silence remained as they sipped on their beer. Both staring absent-mindedly at the atmosphere around them.

Suddenly it clicked.

"It's a woman isn't!" Richard exclaimed. "Boy, oh boy, Charlie has himself a broad!"

"She isn't a broad!" Charles growled at his friend.

"So it is a woman." Richard's cheeky smile made Charles realize what a mistake he had made. His demeanor plummeted as he understood the magnitude of what he just divulged. If Elsie was here she would clap him on the ear and never speak to him again.

"Well," Richard threw his hands up in the air waiting for Charles to explain. "Who is she? Do I know her? You can't have possibly met her at work since you stay cooped up writing all day. Unless she's your publisher of course. She's not your publisher is she? Because, you know –"

"She's not my publisher."

"Oh, well. That's good. Better for business, anyways." Richard set down his pint and turned back towards his friend. "Well, who the hell is she then?"

Charles sighed. He honestly felt like up and leaving. Just slamming the door of the pub and running on home.

 _Coward._

But what was so cowardly about keeping his love life private? Who cares if he was getting a good shag once in a while? Not that Elsie was just a shag. More than that of course. Well, maybe since he hasn't had a real partner in the past ten years, that might explain Richard's reaction. After Alice, he never introduced any potential girlfriend to his friends because he knew that it would never last. They all found him boring and cocky, to say the least.

Except for Elsie.

She understood him.

She smiled at his constant propriety and embraced his _dull_ lifestyle. Better yet she never commented when he asked her to stay in and watch a movie, rather than attend an over-expensive bar and get sloshed on cheap wine. He liked the quiet, and she liked him for liking it.

She just _liked_ him.

"Please, Richard. Not tonight." He waved his hand at the waiter for their check and folded his hands across him lap, thumbing his palm as a distraction.

"Well," Richard sighed and shrugged in defeat. He wouldn't pressure the man if he didn't want to share with him. The waiter placed the bill on the table and bid them a good evening. Charlie reached for the black book but Richard snatched it before he could get to it.

"Just, one question. I'll pay the bill in full, and I promise I'll pay next week." Richard drew an imaginary cross over her heart and extended his hand across the table for his friend to shake. "Deal?"

Charles stared at his hand and rolled his eyes at the immaturity of the man in front of him.

"Deal." They shook on his and Charles muttered a faint, "Some things never change."

At that Richard chuckled and began to fumble for his wallet to pay for the bill.

He paid and they walked out the door, pulling their winter coats around them and walking towards their vehicles, Richard paused and spoke.

"Does she make you happy?"

At this Charles, turned slowly towards his old mate and fumbled with the right words to convey his feelings.

"I'm tickled. Elated." He stared shyly at the concrete beneath their feet, a familiar flush spread across his cheeks as he spoke about the one thing that really made sense to him. "I'm bursting with pride at the fact that she would even want to be with me. And that, I feel, is a degree of happiness that I haven't experienced in all my life." His gaze returned to Richard as he finally spilled out his response, and Richard merely nodded and gave him a weak smile.

"A happiness we all wish we could have." Richard bid him a good night and climbed into his car, driving off as the first snowflake of the winter drifted from the night sky.

 _I love her._

* * *

"So," She drifted into the living room, balancing a bowl of popcorn and two glasses of wine in her hands, "I was thinking that you and I should arrive at Beryl's around six-ish. She's cooking up some sort of roast, I don't remember if she said rump or beef. I figured her and I could finish up with the dinner and you and Bill could have a nice chat." She placed the glasses on the table and practically flopped onto his sofa.

Charles was merely smiling as his friend placed the afghan around her bare legs and cozied into the far end of his couch, with the bowl of popcorn sitting between them. She had exited his bedroom wearing only her knickers and one of his old jumpers, which warmed his heart as she was showing signs of domesticity in his home. She had even managed to find a clean pair of wooly socks to complete her ensemble.

"What are you smiling at?" Elsie sipped from her wine and took a handful of popcorn into her lap as she searched for a movie they could watch.

"Nothing." He shook his head to pull himself out of his reverie. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he stood in search for another afghan for him to cover up with. Charles retreated to his bedroom and scanned for his spare blankets. He looked around the room, which was in a completely disarray after their raucous love making. The sheets spilled from the bed like a waterfall and the room practically smelled of their sex.

 _Damn_.

They were going to have to become more creative with their locations because he could barely stand to fall asleep with her scent surrounding him and not having her in his arms. It was torturous, and no matter how many times he washed his sheets or how many candles he burned, his room was filled with the smell of Elsie.

He sighed and rummaged through his closet. Which conveniently housed even more items that reminded him of her. A few blouses, a skirt, and a pair of high heels that she threw in the closet without care, which he straightened in his search for the blanket.

A toothbrush was placed beside his own in his bathroom. Her womanly soaps and shampoos lined the bathtub and she even managed to sneak in one of her razors.

 _She practically lives here;_ he thinks to himself.

"Hey!" She called from the other room, shocking him out of his thoughts, again. "Do you have _It's a Wonderful Life_? I think it would be lovely to watch, what with Christmas being next week." He heard her footsteps come closer as she peaked her head into the dark room. She saw him hunched over, looking into his closet longingly. Her brow sews together, in concern.

"Are you alright?" She questions lightly as she lays her hand delicately on the doors base.

"Mm." Was his simple reply. He reached above his head and retrieved the extra afghan he was in search for. "Found it." He held up the bundle as he passed her in the doorway. She continued to stare into the room, which they vacated about an hour ago. Elsie smiled as she practically felt the warmth radiating from the bed.

"Hey," She said as she turned around to face him. "Want to fool around?" She said with a raised brow as she tugged on the jumper around her hands.

Charles laughed out loud and settled back onto the couch. This reaction only struck Elsie, making her feel as if he was mocking her want for him. She folded her arms across her chest in humiliation, scoffing at the predicament she was in.

"You're serious?" He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling her gaze on him. "Well, I mean we just – That is, if you are feeling unfulfilled, I can –'

"Oh, save it." She stormed off towards the kitchen. Leaving Charles in his own mess.

"Oh, come on." He rose from his seat and followed her anger. "Elsie." He pushed open the kitchen door and was immediately filled with her ire. Or rather, he was met with the unwavering silent Elsie that always seemed to break him more than the angry, loud Scottish lass. Her silence made him quake, it meant nothing but trouble for him.

"I didn't mean it that way." He mumbled to her.

"It's fine, Charlie." She shuffled to the refrigerator where she yanked open the door, jostling the contents of it. She pulled out the bottle of wine and retreated back towards their positions on the couch.

"No," He followed suit. "It's not fine because you are obviously quite angry with me."

"I'm not angry, Charlie." She settled back at the end of the couch, wrapping the blanket around her legs again. She handed him his glass of wine but he refused it plainly. She only sighed and kept her grip on it as she positioned both of the glasses on her thighs, holding them by the stem.

"I've offended you and now I am receiving a beating for it!"

"Who is beating you?" She questioned firmly.

"Elsie, you know I didn't mean it that way. I would take you right now if you would allow me to, I just meant –"

"Honestly, Charlie. Sit down please, I don't want to fight." She held his wine glass up to him again which he reluctantly grasped in a huff.

They sat in silence as she fiddled with the fringe that was attached to the blanket, wrapping it around her fingers, once then twice until the tips of her fingers began to feel numb. She sighed and began to rise from her position.

"Dammit, Elsie, sit back down." He stood with her and set his glass on the coffee table in front of him. She made her way to the bedroom in search for her belongings.

"I won't sit in silence. So," She picked up her shirt and pants she arrived in and headed towards the bathroom to change. "I will return home, and call you tomorrow."

He lunged at her before she could shut the door to the bathroom in his face. Charles took her forearms in his hands and grasped them, not tight but enough to keep her in place. At this reaction she dropped her belongings back onto the floor.

"You won't be going anywhere, Elsie." He stared into her eyes which showed her confusion and a bit of fear. She looked so fragile as he held her arms in his, like she was expecting him to break her somehow. Like glass. At her state he did something that was all together very out of the ordinary, and very _not_ Charles Carson.

He dropped her arms and picked her tiny body up into his own, her legs dangling over one arm as the other wrapped around her lower back, clutching her waist.

To his utter delight she shrieked in merriment. She burst into a fit of giggles and gasped for air as he placed her on his unkempt bed. She shuffled back into the sheets and tried to fight off his hands which were tickling the backs of her knees. Elsie squirmed on the bed, her laughter increasing as Charlie continued to attack her ticklish spots with his fingers.

"Please-" She laughed again, "P-please, Charlie!" She clutched her stomach in pain but continued to giggled as his fingers travel up her thighs, his lips following.

"I'm," He pushed her jumper up to expose a tiny expanse of her stomach, just above her knickers. "Sorry." He placed an open mouthed kiss just below her belly button and laid between her thighs. His face, burying itself in the warmth of her body.

Charles noticed that her giggles had subsided, leaving her breath rapid and heavy. She stared at the top of his head and began to stroke his curls with his fingers, her hands embedding themselves into his dark locks. Her fingers traveled down till she was able to push the back of his neck a little to bring his gaze back to hers, so they could convey their apologies through their eyes. Elsie gave him a small smile and shook her head at her best friend.

"I will always forgive you, Charlie."

At this he gave her a broad smile and a sigh of relief. Placing his hands on her stomach he squeezed there which made her laugh again.

"How about I make it up to you?" He said with raised brows and a cheeky grin, one that was reserved only for her and for this bedroom.

"Do your worst."

"Oh," He re-positioned himself on her lower body. "You shouldn't have said that."

He grasped he waist tightly and pressed his lips back on her belly but instead of sweet, hot kisses, he blew hard, causing her to shriek again in fits of laughter. He placed raspberry kisses across the expanse of her body until she practically screamed in joy and laughter.

 _I will always forgive you_.

* * *

"When will you be here?"

One hour to go and Charles was just now scraping away the hair from his beard, when he should have done it ages ago. Elsie had called just after he had placed the shaving cream to his face, forcing him to find the damn speaker button and utilize it.

"I'm shaving now!" He shouted in his bathroom as he dragged the razor across the planes of his face.

"Good, Lord. There's no need to shout, Charlie" She giggled at his unawareness of technology.

"Sorry." He mumbled. A flush of embarrassment crossing his face.

"No, need to say sorry. That being said, if your arse isn't here in 20 minutes shaved, combed and dressed you _will_ be saying sorry to me. Is that clear?" Although she wasn't in his presence her knew that her hand would be placed firmly on her hip and her lips would be pursed in a fierce glare.

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes."

"Cheeky bugger."

He chuckled at that and turned on the tap to rinse out the hair that had been captured in the blades, tapping it on the side of the sink. He then placed it back on his cheek to finish the other half of his face.

"Now," she began again. "What are you wearing?"

His eyes widened and he flinched as the razor nicked his jawline, blood spilling from the wound.

"Damn!" He dropped the razor and reached for the towel that hung on the rack. "Elsie!" Charles said in shock, dabbing at the blood which had dribbled down his neck.

"Oh, Charlie." She giggled at his reaction. "I didn't mean it like that and you know it. Get your mind out of the gutter." He merely grumbled and tried to stop the nick from bleeding any further.

"I'm serious. What are you going to wear? You can't show up to this party wearing a jumper. It's semi-formal, like it is every year. A concept you can't seem to grasp."

"I grasp it just fine, thank you." He placed the razor back to his face to try and finish the job.

"Dirty." She giggled through the phone only making him nick himself again at her risqué comments.

"Right, I'll call you back." He dropped the razor and picked up his phone.

"Alright! Alright, just please, a suit. For me?"

"I have a suit. And a tie. And I will see you in fifteen." He grumbled again into the phone.

"See you then." He hung up the phone and he placed it back on the counter. Charles stared into the mirror and tried to mop up this mess that he had made.

 _Dirty._

* * *

Charles walked into Elsie's house carrying the bouquet of red poinsettia's she asked for him to get, a bottle of the best chardonnay he could find as well as some of the other items she told him to pick up while out. Without knocking he walked into her flat and shouted out for her.

"Elsie, I'm here!" He dropped his keys, the flowers, and the wine on the table by the door and walked through the house in search for her. "I brought everything you needed. I also managed to find the pantyhose you sent me to look for. Had to ask three damn employees to find which ones you were wanting." He bounded up the stairs to her bedroom and stopped just outside of it when he realized it was closed.

"Elsie?" He said and knocked on the door, "May I enter, my lady?"

"Yes, Mr. Carson, you may enter." He heard her faint laughter through the door and turned the handle to enter her bedroom.

It seemed funny to him that he had never stepped foot into her bedroom. He had passed by it many times and glanced into the room to scope out the place, make sure everything was neat and tidy but he never walked in. Joe and Elsie were fairly private people and they didn't enjoy people so close to the bed where they lay at night.

When he entered his gaze first drifted towards the bed where she slept and noticed that the right side was still neatly tucked in and the pillow was unused. And the left, where she slept, was ever the picture of Elsie. Organized chaos. The bedside table had a slew of wrappers and glasses of water, a few books and her reading glasses. The sheets were pulled back and crumpled with an extra blanket balled up at the foot of the bed.

She slept as if she were waiting for another person to crawl into bed beside her. She still slept on her side of the bed and left Joe's side neat and ready for use.

"Hello," She said as she exited the bathroom.

Charles breathed in deep as he saw her.

She was dressed in a sleek deep green dress with beading all over the front. It cascaded down from her hips and trailed behind her a bit. It was high on her chest, virtually no cleavage was visible. When she turned he noticed that they dress was exposing most of her back, the zipper was undone and the dress was falling. Elsie had pulled her hair back tight and her face showed minimal makeup but her eyes stood out to him as she rimmed them with a deep brown color. Her lips were not her normal peachy, pink color but more of a diluted brick red, he would say.

She looked –

"Beautiful." He muttered.

She stood in front of her vanity and caught his gaze in the mirror. Her smile didn't go unnoticed by him either. Elsie grabbed the earrings that matched her dress and began to put them on. All the while he saw a deep flush creep up her neck and travel to her face.

He really did have an effect on this woman.

"Thank you, Charlie." Her hand fumbled with the clasp behind her, trying to zip herself up but she soon gave up, turned her head and motioned him to come over and help her.

He shuffled over to her and tossed the bag of items she wanted on the bed. When he reached her he noticed how little the zipper traveled. It started on her lower back and finished below her shoulder blades. He couldn't hold back the impulse to stroke her spine with his fingertips, trailing them from the base of her neck to the lowest point of her back. He grasped her waist to steady her fidgeting body and his hands travelled down to the zipper. Charles steadied the dress by placing his hand on her left hip, gripping it tightly so it wouldn't budge as he pulled the zipper up. When it reached the end of its track he placed a soft kiss on the side of her neck, wrapping her in his arms and locking his hands in front of her.

"Stunning." He whispered as he placed another kiss on the back of her neck.

"Breathtaking." He continued his path down her spine, where he just trailed his fingers and he heard her sigh.

"Charlie…" She said in a breathy tone. "Charles." She said a little louder and bit firmer this time, stopping his path of kisses. He looked at her face within the vanity's mirror and gave her a weak smile.

"We have to go." She whispered to him, her eyes locked with his own. Elsie took his hands and pried them from her body. He merely gave her a curt nod and told her he would meet her downstairs and he exited the room slowly.

When she heard the faint click of the door being shut she let out the breath that she had held in.

Her body thrummed, her heart was pounding, she felt tears spring to her eyes as soon as he left. She breathed deeply and quickly. Her hand found its way over her heart as she tried to understand what she was feeling right now. She had never experienced something so sensual before and she felt as if she were going to break from the heavy aura of love that surrounded her.

 _He couldn't love her_.

It was impossible.

She looked herself in the mirror and stared at the woman, who she didn't recognize. Her eyes were glazed over with un-shed tears and her face was a deep red color. This didn't make sense.

She tried to tell herself that it was this room. The memories that it held and that Charles didn't make it any better with the words he used to describe her. Stunning. Beautiful. Breathtaking. All words she had heard in another life but never in the confines of her bedroom, with the half unmade bed beckoning someone to fill the empty space. Elsie shook her head, freeing one of the loose curls. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep, clearing her head from all of the unnecessary thoughts that poisoned her mind.

This arrangement was merely a way for her to have her way with him, no strings attached. There was no love, only passion and fire. She knew this had to be true because she didn't feel the need to kiss him. And if they didn't kiss then it wasn't love.

 _It's not love._

* * *

The car ride was silent and when Charles pulled into Beryl's driveway he glanced at the woman in his passenger seat. He parked the car and took her hand in his.

"I didn't mean to make this evening awkward for you, Elsie." He thumbed the ring that was still placed on her left hand, in that one particular spot that no man wanted to see on the woman he was trying to pursue. His large palm squeezed her own and he looked into her eyes which were still fogged with confusion.

"You didn't." She whispered.

"Oh, but I did."

"No, Charlie." She placed her other hand on top of their clasped ones. "You didn't."

He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned his head back on the car's seat.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure." Elsie inhaled and began to explain. "It's been a long time since anyways has treated me with such care and compassion. I wasn't expecting it. Least of all from you, and in my bedroom, of all places."

His brows furrowed together. Her words wounded him.

"The last man to ever step foot in that room was Joe." She sighed and dropped their hands, running her fingers along the cars armrest and pausing to try and put her words delicately to her friend.

"I miss him."

Charles sighed. And nodded in understanding. Of course she missed him, no two-decade long marriage just ends with the wave of a hand and a flourish of a signature in court. She was still in love with Joe and it was blatantly known by all of those who called her their friend.

Especially, Charles.

"I don't miss a lot but I miss the little things about him." Her voice began to crack and he could tell that her memories were taking over her emotions.

"Whenever he came home late he would remove only his shoes and crawl into bed with his day suit on, above the covers and just lay there with me. Exhausted, as always." She bit hard on her lower lip. "Or, whenever we went to the store together, he would pick up items and make wise cracks or jokes about them. Something silly like, how he found me 'appealing' and he would hold up a banana. So stupid." She chuckled and wiped her eyes. Charles smiled at this but inside he felt a dull ache begin to rise.

"'We would make a great pair' and he held up a damn golden pear," Her eyes began to twinkle a little and her smile broadened even more. "He always had me in stitches, him and his puns. Only Joe could make me laugh like that."

At this Charles heart sank low in the pit of his belly.

 _Only Joe._

"He was always funny." Charles mumbled. He stared out the window and tried not to relive the laughter they shared just a few days ago. The 'stitches' he put her in as he tickled and kissed her belly and the shrieks that filled his bedroom. His heart was beating faster and faster, his palms began to shake as she spoke of her past love.

"Yeah." She said. "Life of the party too, 'pints all around'. Remember that? All the time, he was buying pints for you and the boys." She gave a heavy sigh and continued.

He remembered all right. Joe would always drink more than he could handle and leer at the passing waitresses, always making snide remarks about the size of their breasts or rear. He never commented on his indecent behavior and never brought it up to Elsie for fear of her rage.

"Anyway." She brushed another curl from her face and turned to face Charles again. "You just un-steadied me is all. Not in a bad way, mind you. You reminded me of all the good times I had. The fond memories."

She gave him a small smile and a little shrug of her shoulders. He held out his hand to her, waiting for her to take his hand into her own. When her dainty fingers grasped his large ones he gave her a smile in return.

"You can always hold my hand if you need to feel steady."

Elsie cupped his cheek. Stroking the small nicks in his face where he had cut himself earlier. She pulled him closer to her and gave him a sweet peck on the side of his face. He looked down at their hands. His thumb stroked the back of her hand, his emotions welling up in him again.

* * *

 _I love you, Els._

 _I love you too, Charlie._

* * *

 **There will be another part after this and _maybe_ a few more. I haven't fully decided how fleshed out I want this story to be but I know that there will be more to come. Any grammatical errors, I'm sorry, again! I hope you guys enjoyed this! Leave me a review and tell me what you would like to see and maybe I'll write a little with your suggestions.**


	3. What Will You Do When You Get Lonely?

**First off I just want to profusely apologies for the long wait, what with the holidays and trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing, I just haven't had time to write and I hope you will all understand that life is just like that. BUT, I have been trying to write for this story a lot more because I have so many ideas in my head and I would never want to leave a story to start another. But first I would just like to give you some background on Charles and Elsie.**

 **Elsie was born in 1961 making her 55 and Charles was born in 1957, making him 4 years older than Elsie. It took Elsie 5 years to complete her education, graduating with a degree in Global Business Management where she now works as the senior adviser in Global Marketing for Crawley Luxury Hotels. Charles has a PhD in History, which focuses on mainly early 20** **th** **century; he also has a minor in English Literature. He is a successful self-proclaimed writer who writes mainly on the aristocracy and middle class in the 1920's, all of his books are historical fiction and all of them contain** _ **romance**_ **.**

 **I think that's pretty much all I want to cover for the minute. I'm going to be rounding out both of their backgrounds in the next chapter which was written at the same time as this one so it should be up sooner rather than later. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

* * *

 ** _What'll you do when you get lonely_**  
 ** _And nobody's waiting by your side?_**  
 ** _You've been running and hiding much too long._**  
 ** _You know it's just your foolish pride._**

 ** _Layla, you've got me on my knees_**

 ** _-Eric Clapton_**

* * *

 _Merry Christmas, Charles Carson._

 _Merry Christmas, Elsie Hughes._

* * *

"Something is different about you," Beryl commented as she paced around the room, piling dishes into the sink and putting cellophane wrap over the uneaten food.

Elsie was leaning up against the small table that was placed in the corner of the kitchen as she watched her friend muddle about the room in organized chaos. Her lipstick had faded and her hair had begun to lose its tightness. It was nearing the end of the Christmas party and the guests had slowly begun to fade away, leaving only a handful of Beryl's closest friends to survey the mess they had made.

Although she was tired, Elsie still had a certain buzz about her. Her eyes twinkled and her face seemed just a tad bit brighter and flushed. Beryl finished loading the dish washer and turned to look at the woman in green. Really _look_ at her. She noticed Elsie's disheveled appearance and the way her arms shook, as if it were painful to keep her body upright. Her eyes were crinkled and her mouth was upturned in an almost playful way.

"Right," Beryl banged the heel of her palm on the counter and ceremoniously dropped the wet rag she was using on the table, "What's going on? You look like the cat that got the cream." Elsie had been shaken with the forcefulness of the woman's actions as well as the gaze that was traveling upon her body. She smoothed the wrinkled dress around her hips and brought her head at level with her friend.

"You wouldn't believe me." Elsie replied with a smirk and a slight slur of speech.

"Try me."

"You'll say I'm being stupid."

"Maybe you are?" Beryl said with a shrug and traveled to sit down with Elsie at the small table. "It's not… Well, it's not what we thought it was a couple years back, is it?"

Elsie just scoffed and sat down in one of the wooden chairs, brushing aside the bottom of her dress to remove her heels.

"It's nothing so morbid as that."

Beryl released a steady breath and gave a nod for Elsie to continue.

"Do you remember, a couple weeks ago – well almost a month now – when you told me that maybe I should engage in a certain arrangement?" Elsie had placed the shoes on the floor and currently sat slack with her hands clasped together on her lap in front of her. Her lips were swollen from the incessant tug from her teeth and her cheeks flushed with the memories of her and Charles as well as the excess amount of alcohol in her system. She could see Beryl's brow furrow in confusion and she could tell that she had peaked the interest of the cook.

"What _arrangement_? When did I tell you this?"

"In late November, I think? We were sloshed on that cheap wine you were gifted as a thank you for that gala you catered. Remember?" Frustration seemed to pass over Elsie as she noticed that Beryl had still not grasped the subject, or even recollect the words she spoke to her that night.

"Not much, to be quite frank. Was it poor advice?"

"Hardly." Elsie gave a weak laugh and brushed the lock of hair that had fallen around her face. It had grazed her cheek and gave her a warm flash of an image of Charles cupping her cheek as he kissed her neck. She smiled at this and shut her eyes to try and remember the moment.

"Well whatever I said must have pleased you. I haven't seen you this giddy since we saw the Stones perform in ninety-nine." At this comment Elsie rolled her eyes.

"I don't know if I'm that happy." They both laughed and shared a knowing look.

"Well, go on, girl. What is it?"

Elsie sat in the wooden chair in Beryl Patmore's extravagant kitchen and contemplated if she should reveal all her troubles. Would it ruin the magic of it all? Will Beryl laugh at her? Tell her that she was being daft? Perhaps this whole situation she had put herself in with Charles _was_ just a joke. A small part of a comedic act that was never meant to take seriously.

 _Scottish Dragon_ \- they would mutter under their breath as she passed by. She was nothing but an empty shell, an unfeeling and severe woman. Elsie knew that it wasn't true. She felt and breathed and loved – she loved and she needed love to survive.

She inhaled deeply and stared out the fogged window above the sink, watching the snow fall and land on the windowsill. As she exhaled she turned her body to face her friend head-on.

 _Charles and I are having sex._

* * *

He sat at his desk with a fountain pen in his hand, scribbling at the ideas that surrounded him. More recently in his dreams he had seen a woman in black. As he sat tapping the pen against the wooden desk he tried to picture her but all he could remember was the back of her dress and the faint sound of jingling keys. Charles looked up from his scratchy handwriting and gazed outside to the snow fall, perfect weather for this Christmas Eve. The light shifted and he saw his reflection in the mirror.

He was drained emotionally and physically.

His eyes didn't shine like they used to and his tiredness was represented through the purple, almost black, circles under his eyes. At this unsightly picture of himself he shut the curtains in front of him and collapsed in his chair with grunt. He rubbed his weary eyes with the palms of his hands and dragged his fingers over his face heavily.

Ever since the beginning of their _arrangement_ Charles had suffered a severe case of writer's block. Although in others eyes having a lovely woman warming his bed and giving him everything he wanted sexually would be a god send miracle, he found it to be troubling and not at all what he thought it was going to be from the beginning. He felt as if there was heavy presence surrounding him every time they laid with one another, a pressure that was building up among them that was ready to erupt at any moment. With all these emotions surrounding him and all the time he had spent with Elsie lately it has been hard for him to produce even an acceptable sentence for him to send to his editor.

Charles felt as if this woman in black and the jingling keys was a sign. Or rather, a representation of something that he had yet to uncover.

All of his dreams started off with the same vision, a house – or rather a castle - something out of one of his old history books he would have reckoned. It was grand and had too many windows to count, a vast expanse of yard in front of it and a dirt road connecting it to the rest of the world. With a flash he found himself walking behind her, she seemed so familiar to him. He felt the urge to call out to her, to say her name that was just on the tip of his tongue but he never reached that part of the dream.

It wasn't really a dream, was it? Just a mere vision.

His life was haunted by two women, both of whom seemed just out of reach to him.

He rose from his position in front of his desk, cracking his neck as he pushed through the door to the other side of the house. There, upon his couch, slept the woman who tormented him more than any ghost in a dream ever could.

 _Elsie._

* * *

"Lovely party, isn't it?" The petite woman grazed Elsie's arm and handed her another glass of spiced cider.

"Oh, Anna," Elsie smiled and accepted the woman's offer. Elsie noticed that Anna's belly had grown significantly since the last time she had seen her. "Look at you, lass! It's not twins is it?" She rested her hand against the round tummy and gave Anna a sweet smile.

"Good Lord, I hope not. William is a handful enough as it is, I couldn't imagine another two. I would have to grow several more appendages to keep up with them all." Anna took Elsie's hand that was placed upon her stomach and gave it a warm squeeze. "It's so good to see you, Mrs. Hughes."

They both smiled brightly at one another. Elsie sat down her glass and embraced Anna warmly, almost motherly.

"Oh!" Elsie jumped back from their hug at the hard kick that was aimed at her abdomen. "I think the lad will be a right good boxer when he is grown." They both chuckled at this and claimed their drinks again. "A great bear of a man, like his father you reckon?"

"Actually I was hoping that she would favor my looks instead." Anna sipped the glass of non-alcoholic apple cider and gave Elsie a sheepish glance.

"She?" Elsie exclaimed which made Anna furiously nod her head. "Oh, Anna!" She set down her glass again and hugged tightly, practically jumping with excitement. Tears sprung to her eyes as she envisioned a wee lass with Anna's eyes and John's dark hair.

Anna had been Elsie's assistant for years before Mary Crawley had taken a shine to her and demanded that she be transferred upstairs to become her 'right-hand woman'. Elsie scoffed every time she thought of it. She had barely seen Anna since she had switched positions, last time they had spoken was in the late summer when Anna had found out she was pregnant with John and hers second child.

"Mrs. Hughes," Anna began again as she pulled herself from Elsie's embrace. "John and I were talking recently, about the baby, and well – we would like you to be this little lady's godmother." Elsie's eyes grew wide and she laughed with merriment. She was so in-explicitly happy for Anna and John and she was even more thrilled that they had thought to ask her to be a part of the child's life, permanently.

"I would be thrilled, Anna." She felt tears prickle and hastily wiped them away, in fear of messing up her makeup. Elsie grabbed a napkin from the table and pressed them against the corners of her eyes.

"I'm so happy you've agreed. You were the only one we have been thinking of since we had William but, you know John and his family. If we hadn't have picked his sister for William's godmother we would have been shunned from all of the Bates'." Anna said hastily with a worried expression marking her face.

"I perfectly understand, love; you need not worry about my feeling being hurt with William. I'm just glad you even thought of me at all!" Elsie laughed again and beamed a bright smile for the rest of their conversation. They talked mainly about the baby but Anna kept on diverting the subject to Elsie and her happiness as of this year. Elsie would reply with a sigh and a nod of her head saying that she really _was_ fine and that Anna should not worry so much about her.

Anna excused herself and said that she had to use the loo, giving Elsie the perfect chance to slide over to Charles who was leaning up against one of the walls with John Bates. They looked like two outcasts compared to the dancing and chatty couples.

"Congratulations, Bates!" She grasped his forearm in her right hand gave him a wide smile. "A wee lass and to think you asked _me_ to be her godmother." She saw out of the corner of her eyes Charles eyebrows raise but he gazed back at his feet in case she noticed his discomfort.

"We would only ever ask you, Elsie." At the informality of John using her name Charles seemed to stiffen but said not a word. His posture slackened as he gave John and weak smile in regards to the news of Elsie being the godmother to his child. He disapproved greatly of Elsie's close relationship with the Bates', as it was unheard of for the boss to be in such close regards with her employees. It was the 21st century and the man still had the concept of regality when it came to the work place, a concept he must have grasped from his years studying the aristocracy in his history textbooks.

John's expression changed abruptly as he saw his wife return.

"We must be going." Anna muttered as she clasped John's hand within her own.

"So soon?" Elsie said with a frown. "The party is only just beginning to start!"

"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, Mrs. Hughes. We've got a full day planned with William and my feet are a tad too sore for me to gallivant among this lovely crowd." Anna looked down at her swollen ankles and made their excuses one last time before her and John headed towards the door, leaving Charles and Elsie to their own demise. Elsie leaned up against the wall, close enough to Charles that their arms were smushed together. Her gaze still laid upon Anna as John helped slide his wife into her coat, buttoning up the bottom of it where he knew she could not reach over her stomach. She sighed and looked at Charles whose eyes were also locked on the couple but in a less affectionate manner. He looked almost confused at their public display of affection.

"They're in love, Charlie. They aren't an exhibit at a zoo." Elsie folded her arms and rolled her eyes. "You're such an old curmudgeon." He looked upon her with the same look of confusion.

"He missed a button." He waved a hand at the couple who were laughing at John's mistake as he buttoned her coat for the second time. "They make a lovely pair." He mumbled and finished off his drink with a flourish. Charles moved his body sideways in front of Elsie to drop his glass on the table to her left, the closeness of him jolted her nerves. She bit her lip and went to tidy her already perfect hair.

"I'm sorry. I thought… Well I thought –" Elsie muttered as she realized she had just scolded her friend for no reason.

"I know what you thought." He looked out among the crowd with a sad look on his face, his hands stuffed in his suit pocket. "You think I'm a Grinch. A Scrooge. My heart is two sizes too small. That's what you think, Elsie." She shook her head and moved her body to stand in front of him, forcing him to look upon her face.

"I would never think such a thing, Charlie!" He did not meet her eye and she could tell that his teeth were clenched in anger. She took his hands within hers and kissed the center of each of his palms, easing him back from the obvious hurt she had inflicted on him. His demeanor softened and he nodded his head in defeat. Elsie slid her fingers under his chin and forced him to lock eyes with her. Her hand cupped his chin and she said confidently, "You're _my_ curmudgeon, and that makes all the difference."

She stood on the tips of her toes and placed a sweet kiss to his left cheek. He placed a hand at her waist to steady her and when he was sure she was about to return back to her standing position she whispered something in his ear.

"I'm going to go to the loo, upstairs, third door on the right. Meet me there in 5 minutes." She kissed his cheek again and gave him a knowing look as she grounded herself on the floor. Looking around to make sure no one had noticed the brief encounter between them, she waltzed away towards the grand staircase and proceeded up the stairs away from the crowd and away from the noise. Charles flushed deeply and licked his lips in anticipation.

 _This could not be happening._

* * *

"What took you so long?" She said as she pulled him into the large marble bathroom, the door shutting behind him.

"Richard." He mumbled as he pulled her body even more flushed against him, she had managed to remove the tie around his neck and was trailing soft kisses down his exposed flesh. He heard her mumble something about if anyone had seen him and he shook his head and looked up to the ceiling as she finished unbuttoning his shirt. He carelessly removed his jacket and his shirt tossing them on the plush rug beneath their feet.

"God, I need you." She said in heavy breath as she began undoing his belt and unfastening his trousers. His hands were grasping her forearms to steady himself as he gazed upon her hands as they removed his clothes. Her hands had managed their way to the front of his pants where she cupped him firmly, feeling him harden even further beneath her touch. He gulped down a moan and she smirked with an air of dominance surrounding her.

"Lock the door, Mr. Carson."

His eyes fluttered and his hand flailed behind him as he tried to locate the door handle. Successfully it clicked and she grinned as the man in front of her closed his eyes tightly, the feeling of her hand upon him becoming increasingly too much to bear. She loved the feeling of having control, that this man was wrapped around her finger like a string. Her palm rubbed gently against his member and he groaned her name. She slid her manicured fingers into his pants and grasped him fully in her hands.

"Els – Elsie." His voice shook at her boldness. She had never done anything like this before and here they were, in Beryl's grand house with her hands around his throbbing cock and all he could think about is how wrong it was that they were doing this now.

Her eyes gleamed with lust and a hint of mischief. She removed her hands from him and hiked up her skirt just long enough so she could lower her body to the floor, the dress pooling around her knees. She looked into his eyes and positioned herself so her back was tall and taunt. She placed her hands on his hip, her thumbs hooking back into his pants, ready to remove.

"What do you want, Charlie?" She whispered as she placed a kiss on his lower abdomen. He gasped and threaded his fingers into her tight locks. Elsie hummed and placed another kiss near her left hand on his right hip and again on his left. He couldn't believe that this woman was before him, on her knees. Her lips were plump and her eyes were nearly black with the amount of desire that flooded them. His brows furrowed in a mix of pleasure and pain.

"Elsie," He said more confidently this time, her eyes softening at his change of manner. "You don't have to." She bit her lip and her hands grasped his hips more tightly, smoothing out the wrinkles in his pants. Elsie parted her mouth as if she were going to speak but merely stared at the ever growing bulge in front of her. She wet her lips and looked up at the man before her.

"I want to." She whispered. His face stayed in the same shape of concern as she licked her lips once more, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth. "Does that make me vulgar?"

Elsie had never wanted to make Charles uncomfortable. But seeing as he was half naked in a strange bathroom with who knows how many people just below them, she could as to why he would be uneasy.

Of course he was uncomfortable! He must be embarrassed and shocked and ill-at-ease and everything in between. She was on her knees ready to take him into her mouth without any quarrels and here he was, shaken to the core with her boldness. Her hands traveled from his hips to his thighs, she hung her head low and mumbled an apology.

"Elsie, you could have your wicked way with me on the kitchen counter in front of all those guests and I wouldn't bat an eye against it." She looked up at him again, her eyes still shined with a hint of merriment. "I don't want you to think you have to reciprocate. If this –" He nodded his head at his now semi-hard member. "Makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to."

With this knowledge she grew bolder than before and tugged his pants and trousers to the floor next to her dress.

 _I want you._

* * *

"You're joking." Beryl said, dumbfounded at her friend.

"I'm not." Elsie shook her head which was blurry with the amount of alcohol she had consumed. Her head was spinning but it kept telling her to tell all and leave nothing out.

"Elsie, I think you are tad tipsy, love. You're making no sense." Beryl stood to get Elsie a cup of tea, to soothe her shaky hands and voice.

"Perhaps." Elsie's eyes were still glassy with the effects of the spiced cider. Her thoughts were everywhere at the moment, trying to remember everything from tonight. Such excitement in such little time.

Before Beryl could speak again, the kitchen door swung open.

"Bill is seeing the last guests out, Beryl." Charles said as he walked over to Elsie who was hunched in her chair, staring at her clasped hands in her lap. "You ready to go, Els?" He mumbled to her as he picked up her heels from the floor. She merely shrugged and continued to gaze at her fingers in a trance.

"What's wrong?" He turned to Beryl who had the same look of confusion on her face as Charlie did. They were both staring at Elsie who had barely budged from her seat, let alone said a word. She could feel them gape at her in concern so she began to rise from her position.

"Nothing –" She wobbled a bit, and Charles caught her around the waist. "Nothing is wrong." Elsie pulled from his embrace and fixed her wrinkled dress, straightening her back in defiance to her friend's behavior towards her. "I'm not a child." She walked somewhat steadily towards the door and Charles followed. Beryl scurried right after them.

"Elsie, love, put on your shoes." Beryl said as they stopped at the front door, where Bill was just shutting it behind the last of the guests.

"What's going on?" Bill said as he looked at the crowd that had trailed behind Elsie.

" _Nothing_." Elsie said irritably and motioned for Charles to hand her the shoes. He stood beside her as she grasped his arm and steadied herself while she put on the heels. Once on she gathered her posture once more.

"Righto." Bill said, rubbing the back of his neck and moving aside to let Elsie reach for her coat. She slid it on and mumbled a curse as it got stuck behind her back, her arm trying to reach for the fallen sleeve. Charles promptly stepped behind her to grab the sleeve and allow her to slip her arm through it. He could tell that her hands were a bit shaky so he waited to see if she could manage the front on her own.

After attempting one button a few times he offered to help. She sighed and nodded her head for him to help you, images of Anna and John in the same position not too long ago. He crouched low enough so he could align the bottom of her coat's buttons with the appropriate hole and traveled up slowly so that he made sure all of them were in their proper place. He took the woolen belt that was attached to the coat and tied it around her waist securely.

Charles proceeded to put his coat on as well as the scarf he brought with him.

"Thank you for inviting us, Beryl." He pecked her sweetly on the cheek and shook Bill's hand which was extended for him. "It's been an eventful evening."

"I'll say." Elsie muttered under her breath, fiddling with the tie he just knotted in front of her. Her cheeks were still flushed and she was beginning to feel a little woozy.

"Yes." Charles said as he opened the front door, ushering Elsie outside into the frigid air. "Merry Christmas." He gave the couple a small smile and followed Elsie who was already standing beside his car, waiting for him to unlock it so she could get in.

 _Nothing, indeed._

* * *

They drove in silence, the air around them was thick with tension.

Charles would occasionally glance at Elsie when they stopped at a red light but her eyes were focused on the falling snow outside.

"Did you have a good time?" He muttered as he adjusted his position in the driver's seat.

"It was alright." Elsie said with a little shrug of her shoulders. "The food was delicious."

"As it always is." Charles stared at the red light above them and waited patiently for it to change colors. They were once again smothered in silence, with only the sound of the windshield wipers brushing away the snow to reassure them that they had not gone deaf.

"Have I done something to upset you, Els?" He questioned finally, when it became clear to him that there would be no point in dragging out the silence. Elsie turned to look upon him for the first time since they settled in the car.

"I'm just tired, Charlie." She muttered with a shake of her head and a heavy sigh. "I might have had a bit too much of that cider. My mind is just spinning like a carousel."

He looked at the dashboards clock, which had read 12:46.

"It's Christmas Eve, now." He pointed out to her. "If you weren't sloshed on Christmas Eve I wouldn't know if you were really Elsie Hughes." She giggled and smiled widely at him. He was glad that he finally got some kind of reaction out of her. As soon as the smile as appear it just as easily faded from her.

"I don't want to go home." She mumbled as he eased through the green light. She noticed his brows furrow and he shook his head.

"My dear, you never have to leave my flat if you do not wish to. You're a welcome guest and a good friend and I should never wish you to spend Christmas alone." He glanced in her direction once again to see the tears welling up in her eyes, and the sweet smile that was upon her face in adoration of his response. She bit her lip and stared out once again at the falling snow.

"Charlie?"

"Yes, Els?"

"You're my best friend."

"And you mine."

She gave a hearty laugh and grasped his lone hand in the middle of them to give it a good squeeze. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, equally immersed in their own thoughts. Elsie tugged again at her lips with thoughts of Charlie running through her head, and how thankful she was that she found comfort in him this past year. She was so lucky to have him as her friend.

Charles sat staring at the dark, empty road ahead and continued to contemplate what had happened this night, and how topsy-turvy Elsie's emotions had been. Sometimes he wondered if she thought him to be an old fool, a man that lived alone and did nothing but complain about the world around him. Maybe he really was just an old Scrooge? Maybe he never deserved a woman like her in his life?

She quickly turned her head and removed her hand from his to fiddle with the radio.

"I wonder if there are any stations that aren't playing ruddy Christmas music." Her expression showed disgust as she flipped through the channels, trying to find something that didn't involve 'holly' and 'joy'. All wonderful things, mind you but they have been playing the same songs for a good month and a half and she was tired of it.

"I think I have something in the CD player that you might enjoy." He gestured his head toward the console as he made a slow right turn.

Her fingers continued to mess with his radio and she muttered a few curses of annoyance when she couldn't find the proper button. Charles finally pressed the correct one and Elsie mutter something about how 'she would have found it eventually'.

The first few twangs of the guitar and rumble of applause made Elsie smile wide and chuckle.

"Ah, Clapton. A man of my heart." Her smile was contagious. "This is one of my favorite songs, you know? Poor man. Pattie Boyd wrecked his soul." She shook her head and mumbled the lyrics.

"He was a drunk, Elsie."

"Doesn't matter." She practically shouted. "Stand by your man. That is what I was taught." At this remark, Charles scoffed and shook his head.

"Anyways," She began again. "You should never leave a Yorkshire man. Strong-willed they are. Sturdy too."

"He's from Surrey." He said with a great bellow of a laugh.

"Charlie, he's from Yorkshire!" She said with a frown. "Don't tell me I'm wrong."

"I'm sorry, dear." He smiled again and licked his lips. "You're quite feisty when you're drunk, you know."

"You're making it hard to love you, Charles." She said with a distant voice. His brows raised high but in his head and in his heart, he knew she wouldn't remember much and her words should be taken lightly.

"January, 1990" He said.

"What?"

"We saw Clapton in January of 1990. You had long hair back then and wore this skimpy outfit, much too little clothing for the middle January." Her expression grew blank as she listened to him retell the tale.

"I was the only one who had a car, you were –" His eyes squinted as he tried to recall. "You were 28, about to turn 29 and I was far too old to be hanging around you lot. So was Alice." His expression grew dim and they sat in silence for a while.

"Anyways, we drove all the way from downtown London to Birmingham in the freezing cold. The heater in the car was – well I wouldn't call it broken but it barely sputtered out enough heat for any of us. And I remembered she complained the whole way there, and you and Joe were snuggled in the back, trying to conserve warmth for the few hours we were in the silly car." He took a breath and continued. "We got to the venue on time and took our seats; Alice, me, you and Joe, in that order we sat. Joe was the beer boy –" She chuckled at his wording and gave his arm a weak slap, shaking her head in dismay.

"Well he was!" He chuckled with her and grinned at her flushed face. "I couldn't drink because I had to get us home somehow, right? And when Joe had asked you what you wanted you merely said 'I think I'll stick with Charlie tonight and not drink a lick', we were all astonished by this because we had all thought you would be under the table by the end of the night. But when he and Alice left to get their drinks you said to me 'I would never leave you alone with them, pissed off their arses'"

"I did not!" She screeched in delight and began to laugh whole-heartedly.

"But you did," He continued with an air of delight around them. "And I was forever grateful for you. I still am." She caught his gaze again and she felt something in the pit of her stomach begin to swell.

"Well, Clapton began to strum _Layla_ and I thought you were about to melt with how excited you were. I could have sworn you had tears in your eyes. You have a lovely singing voice you know? That was the first time I think I had heard it. And it was magical." He was babbling now. "I didn't even gaze in his direction, I just remember you clutching the railing in that little tight top of yours." He inhaled deeply at this. "You were so beautiful, your hair was down to the middle of your back, rich like wine, waves cascaded down like a sweet waterfall. Joe was a lucky man, Elsie." Charles clutched the steering wheel and his knuckled began to turn white. He shook his head again and sighed.

"Please go on. I like it when you say sweet things about me." Her voice was lusty and heavy. Elsie had managed to turn her body so it faced his own, her attention solely on his story. She was immersed in the way he strung his words together, ever the writer was he.

"Alright," He loosened his grip on the wheel and cleared his throat. "By the end, Alice was the one under the table and not you. I carried her all the way from the venue to the car, she babbled on and on, I could hardly understand her. Joe was around the same block as her, he leaned against you the whole way to the car. His voice was loud and you could smell the beer that was on his breath, you smiled at this. I think you thought it to be quite funny, I found it to be obnoxious, obviously –"

"Obviously." She muttered.

"Yes. We placed them both in the back, Alice had slumped her head on Joe's shoulder and he had sprawled his arms across the back of the seat, head lolling until they both had fallen asleep. You were still sober, and beaming from the aftermath of the concert. You were so happy." He smiled at the memory of the young Hughes, small and ready to take on the world. "We talked about Clapton for a while, and about 45 minutes into the drive you had scooted closer to me, snuggling into my side. You yawned and had asked me if it was all right if you laid like that. My heart was in my throat, I thought I was going to choke. I just nodded like a fool and wrapped you in my embrace, your thin body was cold so I had placed my jacket around you. You thanked me and fell right to sleep." He finished he story and pulled into his driveway, and they both looked at his flat.

"Why were you so nice to me?" Elsie questioned softly. Her expression was one for the books, he couldn't decipher between her confusion or the obvious warmth she held for him in his heart. She was still a little woozy from the punch she had consumed and he could tell her head was foggy.

"Because you were my friend." He said and helped her remove the seat belt that entrapped her body. "And I loved you, very much." She took his hands within her own.

"Why did you never say anything about it before?"

"I never wanted to cause you any pain." Charles continued to fiddle with his car, trying to mask his nervousness. He shut off the vehicle and took his own seat belt off. He then turned to her to see her expression again, he could see tears within her eyes.

"Come now, little one. Don't shed those tears." He wiped them as they fell.

"I'm sorry." She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palms, "This damned punch has made me a tad bit moody." He smiled and opened the car door, rounding to her side, and opening it for her. He noticed that the snow had become far too high for her to reach the door in her heels.

"Right," He crouched to slide his hands under her bottom and knees to carry her. "I'm going to have to carry you, so your toes don't freeze." She clutched the back of his neck and let him lift her from the front seat, minding her head so he didn't bump it. His foot shut the door with a loud thud and he traveled through his front law to reach his door where he placed her lightly on the brick stoop.

Charles took out of his keys from his coat pocket and began to search for the correct one. He felt Elsie stand behind him and bury her head in the back of his woolen coat, her hands attempting to snake around his wide middle.

"I like it when you call me little one." She muttered rubbing her face into him, snuggling deeper into him; like the January night so long ago. Elsie felt him chuckle deeply and heard the click of the door open.

 _Come now, little one. Time for bed._

* * *

Elsie traveled to his living room and flopped on his couch with a loud moan.

"I love this couch." She said as she situated herself deeper into the depths of his sofa. Charles surveyed her body, warm and cozy in his flat.

"Let me get you something to sleep in." He said as he pushed open his bedroom door. She had entered his house quickly, in search of some place to lie and had forgotten to remove her coat and shoes. No matter. He would help her.

He pulled out a grey woolen jumper and a pair of matching socks. Charles entered the room to see Elsie dozing on the couch her legs near her chest, like a small child, and her arms curled near her breasts.

"Els?" He sat down next to the small space by her hip, placing a hand on her waist to rouse her.

"Not tonight, Charlie." She mumbled and cozied herself into the couch even more.

"Sit up, my love. Let me help you get undressed." He rose himself and held the jumper in the air to show her what he meant.

"Dirty." She giggled, slowly rising herself from her position on the couch to give Charles some room to maneuver.

He knelt on the plush carpet, hearing his bones crack in the process. He winced and began with her coat, untying the knot at the front of her waist and proceeding to unbutton it. Charles did this act with leisure, afraid that if he did so with haste he might disturb her. Once fully removed he placed the coat on the back of the couch.

He then moved to her stockings.

The palm of his hand slithered up her calves like a snake, making her mumble and moan. She shivered and gave a sleepy smile. Once he reached the clasp he flicked it open with ease, rolling the stocking down at a slow but sensual pace. And again, with the other one. He had somehow forgotten about her heels completely and flushed at the awkwardness of the situation.

Elsie didn't mind though.

Her eyes opened slowly as she felt his thick fingers fumble with the clasp of her heels. Elsie lent down to help him but did so a bit too quickly and their heads clunked together. She giggled rubbing her forehead while Charles began to apologize with haste. She brushed the one stray curl from his face and said in a sweet voice that there was nothing to apologize for.

Charles gazed upon her face as she knelt over to remove her shoes and stockings. Her eyes were still misty from the tears she had shed and her face was still quite red. He had hoped it was because his attentions to her body and not from the residual alcohol.

Elsie rose above him, her body leaving the couch entirely as she held her hand out to his to help him rise from the uncomfortable position. Once he stood tall in front of her she turned her back to him so he could manage with the zipper of her dress. They were so close, smushed between the coffee table and the couch and his body was practically pressed against her. She felt him, rather than heard him, inhale sharply as he reached for the dress.

Unlike when he had zipped her up for the party, there was no awkwardness. No regrets or speculations. No thoughts of Joe.

Just pure and utter love.

She wet her lips and twirled a rogue curl with her fingers. He slowly began to descend the zipper, his hands shaking with the feelings that flooded his mind.

Ecstasy. Happiness. Love.

He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. The front of the dress began to fall and he pushed it from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Her head hung low as she felt his intense gaze upon her body; a shiver and a flush followed. Charles felt his hand rise, unconsciously, to the top of her spine. He touched lightly and followed the bumps one by one to the middle of her back, her gasp was more of a breathy and uneven inhale. He placed both of his hands against the small of her back and pressed softly as he traveled back up her spine, touching as much skin as he could. His fingers encountered the thin, translucent strap that must have been connected somehow to her bra.

"How do I –" She turned to face him, the black bra stood out like the dark of the night by the moon. Her skin was so pale and freckled.

Perfection.

Elsie took his hands and place them upon her breasts. The bra was a lighter material than the rest of her undergarments, practically translucent. He could see the outline of her dark nipples, taut and ready for him to release them from their confinements.

"There is a clasp, right here." She pointed to the valley of her breasts where the silver clasp was visible. His skilled fingers popped it open with ease, pushing the material from her. It fell to the floor silently. He couldn't help but place her breasts within his hands, softly caressing them at an agonizingly slow pace. She moaned and clutched his elbows, encouraging him to come closer.

Charles let go of her breasts and traveled his hands down to her waist, where he clutched her swaying body. Her eyes were shut tightly, as if trying to hang on to the pleasure that coursed through her body.

"I think it's time for bed, my love." He mumbled, his eyes never leaving her face. She moaned and clutched the lapels of his suit, which he still hadn't removed. Elsie buried her head into his chest and he clutched her near naked body to him. He felt her huff in frustration.

"I'm sorry," Charles muttered into her hair. He would never take advantage of her in such a state and he could not bear it if she woke up in the morning feeling used and mistreated. She nodded her head and met his gaze with a sad smile.

He reached for the jumper and helped her slide it over her head. Charles cupped her cheek endearingly and muttered again an apology. She just shook her head and smiled. Elsie went to remove the pins from her head but he told her to turn around again. Slowly he removed each one with ease.

The last pin fell to the floor, lost among the pile of her clothes and he laid the rest on the table. He ran his fingers through her locks to make sure he hadn't left any. Elsie began to lower her body to the welcoming couch, exhaustion evident on her face.

"Thank you." She muttered while he put the socks on her feet and placing the fleece throw over her body.

He left momentarily to bring her a glass of water and a few capsules of pain relief, to ease her hangover in the morning. He sat by her body and helped her with the glass and pills, her hands shaking from his previous touches. Once the glass was placed on a coaster nearest to her body he turned and saw her lay her head on one of the plush cushions that was on the couch.

Elsie reached for his hand and they sat there for a few minutes until her eyes shut involuntarily. He began to rise when he heard her whisper faintly.

* * *

 _Merry Christmas, Charles Carson._

 _Merry Christmas, Elsie Hughes._

* * *

 **Was this chapter excessive or what? My words count is at 7,700 right now and I'm shocked. I hope this will make up for the lost time and I would appreciate any feedback I can get! Thank you for hanging in there with me and expect the new chapter very soon.**


	4. Time?

**Hey friends long time no see, huh? I first want to profusely apologize for the lateness, a handful of unfortunate things have been happening since the beginning of the year and I would rather not divulge them. I hope we can all understand my predicament but know that everything is back on track and semi-normal.**

 **I secondly want to state that I have decided to start moderating my guest reviews. I feel like I should never have to explain my decisions on this website because most of you are very friendly and exceeding kind to me. But for some reason I feel hounded by comments that I don't find quite fitting. Because this isn't really a form of social media, you never really know what may be happening in someone's life. We should never ever pester someone to the extent that they don't want to return at all. Pressure is one of the hardest things to cope with in my mind because it's almost a sign that says "If you screw up we aren't going to like you anymore."**

 **Regardless, please don't take my sentiments the wrong way because I try and produce the best content for everyone and I truly encourage all to give me feedback. I love writing for you all, it's my favorite thing to do.**

 **I rewrote this chapter three times. So, let's hope I got it write this time, eh?**

 **Here is the long-awaited chapter four, enjoy.**

* * *

 _ **And here's the hand, my trusty friend  
And gives a hand of thine  
We'll take a cup of kindness yet  
For Auld Lang Syne**_

* * *

 _What have you done to me?_

 _I've loved you._

* * *

Charles stretched his arms above his head and let out a grunt of exhaustion. He had barely slept a wink last night after helping Elsie change out of her gown and into his jumper. As he dressed himself for bed his only thought was of how much he wanted her to crawl into his sheets with him. To snuggle deep into his side with the same vigor as she did with his plush couch.

But alas, he slept alone.

Her hair was covering half of her face and her cheeks were a sweet peach color, unlike the deep red from the previous night. From his position, he could hear the faint inhalations from her parted mouth. Even though the morning was quite cool and he had yet to relight the fire in the living room, the blanket was down by her ankles and her legs were bare to him. He felt the urge to awaken her. Charles wanted to lay beside her on that narrow couch and have her body lay across his, her thigh wrapping around his hip and her head placed on his chest.

He shook the thought from his mind and made his way to the kitchen from the hallway just to the right of the couch.

Pushing through the door and switching the light on he realized just how chilly his home really was, the kitchen felt ten degrees lower than it did in the living room. His brow furrowed as he remembers Elsie asleep on the couch, probably freezing.

He made his way back to her and gently lowering himself on the carpet to the right of her. His hands skimmed her bare thighs, they felt like ice.

"Elsie." He murmured to her. Another time with just a little more volume.

She softly groaned and adjusted her position, almost knocking him in the back with her foot. Charles suppressed a chuckle and merely placed his hand back to her thigh, rubbing slowly to try and awaken her with a gentler tactic.

"Hmm."

"Elsie, dear." He noticed her eyes flutter. One of them opened and peered at him for a few seconds only to shut again. She buried her head further into the pillow and made another faint mumbled that resembled gibberish.

"Come to bed, my love. You're freezing out here." Charles brushed her hair from her face and grazed his thumb from her temple to the sharp outline of her jaw. At this her head turned and her eyes opened to him, with a sleepy look upon her face she just blinked. He gave a little smile and placed his thumb on her chin, waiting for her to respond. Elsie mimicked his smile and nodded her head to him.

"Carry me." He heard her say with a gravelly voice as he rose from his position on the floor.

"I believe I've become your own personal taxi service, little one." With ease, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, placing her on the still warm side of the bed. Once he had tucked her in he glanced at the clock on his bedside table.

7:16 a.m. on Christmas Eve.

He rubbed his face with stiff fingers and sighed. With one last glance on his sleeping lass he rose from the side of the bed to make his way back to the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Elsie said as he was about to open to door to the living room.

"I was going –" He started pointing back in the direction he was heading to.

"No, you're not."

"Am I not?" Charles slowly shut the adjoining door and made his way back to her.

"You're supposed to keep me warm." She mumbled and pulled back the sheets so he could crawl in next to her.

"Oh," He feigned ignorance. "That's _right_."

Charles slid his house shoes off by the bedside and threw that beloved sweater of his on the small chair in his room. He crawled into bed like a child and came as close as humanly possible to her, grasping her cold thighs, and rubbing them between his palms to create some warmth. His head rested upon the left side of her breastbone. Elsie slid her fingers in his hair and began to gently play with his greying locks. Once he felt as if he had sufficiently warmed her body he slid his right palm under her jumper to cradle her waist within his hand.

"So," He muttered. "I'm your personal taxi _and_ human furnace." She gave a little laugh and replied.

 _Oh, Charlie. You're much more than that._

* * *

They rose around noon.

Charles had somehow managed to remove her jumper and had been nuzzling her breasts, placing languid kisses upon them. She was mewling, waiting for him to capture one of her hard nipples but he merely made his way around them. Blowing hot air on them but never taking one into his warm mouth. He held her hips close to his own, making her understand that he needed her. He wet his lips and continued his path down the valley of her breasts to her navel, dipping his tongue within the small crevice. Elsie shifted a little bit more as he descended her body to hook her black knickers with his thumb.

Charles raised his head to look at her face, she was breathless and nodding for him to continue. She saw him wiggle his eyebrows and pull the cover over his head, leaving her only to see his wide frame underneath the white comforter. Elsie chuckled loudly at this man, he was so silly. But in a way, it was enthralling to not be able to see him; to not be able to guess his next motives.

She yelped as he gave a little love bite on her left hip, only to soothe it with his tongue. And again, with her right hip. Removing his hands from her knickers, he let the palms of his hands trace the length of her thighs and calves only to encounter the woolen socks he had put on her the night before.

"Everything must go." He mumbled as he stripped her feet of them. Charles saw her legs wiggle and her belly jiggle with laughter.

His head popped out from his enclosure under the covers. Elsie was biting the bottom of her lip and suppressing a laugh. Charles' hair was in every direction, his morning stubble highlighted his strong jaw, and his lips were swollen from the constant kisses he had been placing on her.

"Are you laughing at me?" He questioned in mock seriousness.

She endearingly ran her fingers through his hair and said with jovialness, "Would you get on with it, Charlie?" Her smile was wide as she looked at the man that was positioned between her thighs.

She heard him mumble as he traveled under the covers again, "Get on with it. I'll show her, I'll get on with it."

Elsie felt his strong hands cup her, the wetness of her arousal left her panties damp. He quickly removed her last item of clothing and flung it somewhere under the covers. Charles laid flat on his stomach, forcing her thighs to rest on his shoulders as he brought her closer to his face. She slid lower into the bed as he did this and it startled her. It was unexpected and dominating and ever arousing.

Before she could say anything about his forcefulness, he hooked his arms from the back of her thighs to the front and she felt his right-hand part her folds. He pressed a warm, wet kiss to her already fully aroused core. Elsie cried out gripping the sheets and arching her back.

Charles drew his tongue from the tip of her entrance to the little nub that was waiting for his attention. Before he applied any pressure to it, he rose his head.

"Charlie!" She practically shrieked as he stopped his ministrations.

He chuckled again and lifted the hood over her swollen clit. At first, he touched it lightly with the tip of his tongue, letting his breath flood her sensitive spot. This only made Elsie wiggle and moan in frustration. At this reaction, he took it into his mouth, flicking the nub with his tongue and applying varying pressures to it.

Charles unraveled his right arm from her thigh and brought it straight to her opening, where she craved some sort of fullness. He inserted a finger and pumped it in and out slowly, still while his tongue was focused on her clit. Once he started to feel her pressure build up and her walls start to contract around his digit he inserted a second thick finger and curled them within her. She moaned loudly and groaned in frustration because she was so close to her release, she could feel it on the banks of her body ready to flood.

"Come on, Charlie." Elsie whispered lightly and as soon as she said those words his teeth grazed her nub and he sucked forcibly on it. Her thighs tightened around his shoulders, keeping him locked in his position as he helped her ride out her first wave of pleasure. Charles removed his fingers from her wetness and let his right-hand travel up her body to grip her breast in his hand, rolling her ever hard nipple between his fingers. He felt the sweat upon her body, the slick moisture that surrounded her entire being.

He moaned within her folds, letting his deep timbre of a voice run its course within her. At this her walls broke yet again and she whimpered and shook. If his head weren't buried between her thighs and if the covers did not cover his body he would have seen the tears in her eyes. She let them slide down her cheeks and she took his hand that was resting on her breast within her own, lacing their fingers together. Her body tensed and was thrumming with the two orgasms he had just bestowed her.

Charles removed the covers from his head and gazed upon her body.

"Are you all right?" His face was concerned when he saw the streaks of tears that were resting upon her face. She merely nodded at him and buried her back into the bed, sighing heavily and wetting her lips. Their hands were still interlocking and she could still feel the moisture on his hands from her body's arousal. She closed her eyes contently and whispered to him.

 _I'm more than all right._

* * *

They sat at the small dining table and munched on the remains of their breakfast (brunch, really). What a pair they were, dizzy from the pleasure they had been enraptured with all morning. Elsie was sitting perched on one of his large dining chairs, which were vastly disproportionate to the meager table from which that ate upon. Her hair was hastily thrown in a bun and she was bundled in a warm grey jumper and blue striped pajama pants; both which she stole from Charles' closet. Charles was dressed in a similar fashion, his favorite sweater, and a plain pair of loose fitting pants.

The afternoon was misty but the flat radiated warmth.

Elsie's gaze traveled from her plate of crumbs to the man who sat opposite of her. One hand held a half-eaten piece of toast and the other held a novel. His nose was scrunched in displeasure and she thought he must have read something unpleasant, for he placed the toast back on his plate. She smiled and blushed faintly and she thought of how he helped her reached her peak this morning, twice at that. No man had ever done that to her, _for her,_ before. When they had first started their arrangement, she told him that for a while, these days at least, it was hard for her to reach completion. That it would take time for him to give pleasure to her.

But he caught on fast.

Fast. Hard. Hot.

Elsie shook her head and rose from her seat. She collected her plates and came around the table to collect his as well, it was clear that his plate would remain the way it was. Although the plates clinked and the silverware rung his mind was clearly elsewhere, nose buried between the pages of his book. Her hip grazed his right arm which had previously had held his toast in the air. She saw him tense and soon relax when he realized that the foreign touch was her. His gaze flickered to her soft skin, flushed pink, and her unruly tendrils. Their eyes met, her hands filled with the plates and forks.

They smiled.

She settled the dirty dishes back on the flawed finish of his table. Their eyes were still locked in a romantic embrace, searching for something that they hadn't recognized before. Elsie's gaze traveled to his lips and she stared, contemplating what they might feel like against her own. What would Charles Carson would taste like? Heady, tangy, warm. He would be every essence of a man and more, he would taste like – home.

Elsie carded her hands through his curly hair, twisting her digits in its grey-black mass. Not meeting his gaze, but concentrating hard on his appearance she moved her eyes around his face. The morning stubble, the scar below his left brow, the curvature of his ears, the cleft on his chin; these things made up the man in front of her.

A story of his journey from boyhood to manhood.

He parted his lips as if he were going to say something but she silenced him with a shake of her head. Charles placed his book on the counter and gently grasped her hips, softly squeezing the wool covered flesh. Elsie sighed and closed her eyes, tears filling them once more. Her hands traveled down the back of his neck, to the front of his jaw where she traced the sharpness of his bones. She bit her lip and furrowed her brow, eyes still shut fiercely, trying to concentrate and memorize the structure of her man.

He was hers – wasn't he?

She felt the rumble of his voice before she heard it.

"Elsie?" He muttered, concern hidden in his word.

Heart beating fast inside her chest she lazily lifted her eyelids, smiling softly at his worry. She rubbed the rough texture of his face and sighed. Before he had time to interpret what she was doing her head lowered to his, planting a sweet kiss to his forehead. Her hands made their way back to the side of his neck, where they felt to increase of his pulse, hammering hard on the side of her fingers.

It was brief but it was the closest she had been to kissing him and he was grateful for the connection. When she pulled away he chuckled lightly, perhaps in relief or perhaps in embarrassment for his reaction to a simple peck on his forehead. They smiled at one another again, wrapped in the moment that they had created.

Their bodies have been joined in erotic, almost ethereal, ways and yet a mere kiss to his face sent them both in a tizzy. The air around them was charged with longing. Yet neither made any move to rectify this.

Removing her hands from his face and picking up the dishes again she headed towards the kitchen. She turned back to a dazed Charles and muttered in her sweet, kind voice –

 _Thank you._

* * *

"Would you like to open your present now?" He muttered, lifting the hair that hid the flesh of her neck. Charles placed a warm kiss just below her ear and hummed in question when she didn't respond.

"What will I unwrap tomorrow?"

They sat close of the couch, Charles' arm was wrapped lazily around her shoulders as they watched the TV flicker before them. He placed his palm on her thigh, squeezing it in a playful manner.

"Me, of course." His brows danced in merriment and she laughed at his silliness.

"Charles, you are such an old cad."

"And yet here you are, wrapped in my embrace. The light of the fire dancing upon your cheeks." He brushed his knuckles against her high cheekbones. "The smell of us hanging within the air – Oof!" Elsie elbowed him in his stomach, stopping him mid-sentence.

"Stop being poetic!" She chuckled and shifted away from him embrace, embarrassed by his description of her. "Fetch me my present, good sir."

"Of course, my lady." He rose from the soft cushions and retreated into his bed room, shortly returning with a large pretty box with a green bow on top. She hummed in delight and folded her legs beneath one another, situating her posture as he placed the gift in her lap. It was heavy, heavier than she expected and she furrowed her brows in puzzlement.

"What is it?"

"At your age, you should know to open the gift before questioning what it is, Els." At his retort, she huffed and began to unravel the bow, ripping the paper, and lifting the lid of the box. Handing him the remains of the present, she unfolded the gift from its tissue paper. Her heart dropped when she saw it.

A large, heavy, brown book. Her hand smoothed over its soft leather surface, feeling the bumps and ridges of its worn body. Hands trembling, she opened the cover to see the writing of the man beside her.

 _To Elsie,_

 _We may never know what the future may hold, for the nature of life is not permanent but flux. And while life has altered us, there is one thing I am certain of;_

 _The memories you and I have shared are steadying._

 _For the days when you need me and I may not be there to hold your hand, I bestow you this book._

 _Your friend,_

 _Charles E. Carson_

Her eyes welled with tears and she turned the page once more. Elsie felt his gaze upon her face, his worried eyes deciphering if he had done something wrong. Slowly she released the breath that she had been holding in when she saw the first picture, it framed the whole page and shined brightly with its array of faded colors. The tears began to fall, landing on the page in front of her.

"I'm sorry," He said, reaching for the book that she had enclosed in her fingers. "I didn't realize it would upset you. I'm sorry. I'm such a cad." Elsie shifted further away when she noticed him try and take the book away from her. She said nothing and flipped the page once more.

Each photo was of them; places they had been, people they had seen, snapshots of their friendship. Their lives were bound in this large leather scrapbook and she could feel all her emotions tumbling within her, for no one had ever given her something with such meaning.

No one had shown her such love.

She thumbed a picture of Charles and Becky, they sat at small table surrounded by crayons and parchment paper. They were smiling as the drew a yellow house and red flowers in the grass. She remembers that day clearly, she was so scared that he would be shocked by Becky and her childishness. It had taken Joe years to be comfortable with her sister but that day, when she had escorted Charles through the daisy painted halls, she knew he was different. He smiled and chatted with Becky as if he had known her for years, to which Becky responded in merriment and laughter. Charles had pulled coins from her ears, played card tricks and even juggled to assuage Elsie's nervousness. It had worked.

Years later when Becky had passed, she had framed the house they had drawn together and envisioned a life that never was.

Elsie smiled and looked back at the man by her side, tears streaming down her face.

She chucked and rubbed her weary eyes, stroking the pages once more. Her body shook and Charles knew that he must have truly upset her. Moments passed and they sat in silence until his reverie was broken by a gasp and a deep hearty laugh, Elsie clutched her stomach and cried tears of joy this time around.

"What –" Charles looked from the book to her face and back at the book to try and decipher what exactly she was laughing so hard at. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Elsie began to settle down from her sudden burst of laughter and she smiled widely, turning to face him she muttered,

 _And to think, I got you a bloody tie._

* * *

The week past faster than either of them realized.

Elsie had returned briefly to her work where she filed and typed and handled all the chaos that Crawley Hotels had in store for her the last week of the year. Although her agenda was filled to the brim her mind had been drifting away more often than not. Her thoughts were all centered around _him_. And his touch. She was caught three times by Thomas who jested at her obviously clouded mind. To which she responded with a sharp retort and a whip of her tongue, leaving Thomas dumbfounded. Their relationship was far from mother and son but they had always had an agreement where they would bounce their sarcastic manner about, usually leaving them in stitches. But now, lately it seemed, Elsie just wanted to be left alone.

On the last day before New Year's Eve, Elsie worked diligently. She had directed her gaze anywhere but the clock, fearing that time had moved slow and eternity had consumed her. There were moments when her mind drifted once more to _him_. With a jolt of her heart, a fast patter to her breast, she knew that they were close to something hypnotic. When they embraced, she felt her stomach flip and her eyes cloud and her mind would scatter with thoughts of how wrong it was yet so, _right._

She had to stop this.

She had to end it.

Perhaps she should bring it up to him tonight. No. Tomorrow? That wouldn't do either.

Elsie bit her lip and bit hard until she felt warm blood on the tip of her tongue. Her leg shook with anticipation and she was nervously jiggling the pen in her hand, an even tapping sound resonating within her office as it hit her desk.

"Are you all right?" The voice startled her from her thoughts and she let out an exasperated sigh.

"Thomas," She firmly placed the pen back on her desk and acknowledge his presence as he stood lingering in her doorway, one hand behind his back. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles and his mouth was turned in a constant frown.

"I'm sorry," He began to retreat from the door, "I'll come back later."

"Wait." Elsie rose from her desk chair and tugged at the bottom of her suit jacket. "Come in, lad. Sit down."

He nodded, his hand still behind his back.

"I've brought you a gift." Thomas muttered as he pulled a small neatly wrapped box from behind his back. "I know it's a few days after Christmas but it only arrived yesterday. Damned postal service never gets the right apartment." Gently he placed the parcel in front of her.

"Thomas …" She sat back down in her chair and gestured once more for him to do the same. They both sat silently as Elsie twisted her fingers around the pretty twine bow. "You didn't have to."

"I know." He shifted slightly and cleared his throat. "I just wanted to thank you. You've… You really helped me this year. What with the –" Thomas inhaled deeply and sharply turned his head to his right, trying to focus his gaze anywhere but Elsie's warm smile. "Well, when I tried to –"

"You don't have to say it."

"I know but, I –"

"You're here," Elsie saw the tears well up in his dark eyes, his posture slacked and she saw how hard he tried to bottle in his emotions. "You're alive."

"Yes, but without you I would be dead." It was then that he finally sought out his kind boss's eyes. They had vowed they would never speak of it again, that when she found him and escorted him to the hospital there would be no more talk of it. As the young man sat in front of her, acknowledging what had happened, she saw the strength that lay beneath his eyes. He wanted her to know that he was trying.

She nodded her head and placed her palms on the side of the box, wrapping it warmly in her hands.

"How's Jimmy?" Elsie muttered as she pulled the twine from it's knot and meticulously began to unwrap the paper that enclosed the box.

"He's fine." Thomas muttered as he fiddled with his fingers, his hands resting softly on his thighs. "He's asked me to move in with him." Elsie looked at him in astonishment, her brows raised and a smile blooming on her face.

With a soft chuckle and a wide grin, she muttered her congratulations, to which Tomas responded with a flush to his cheeks.

"I'm so happy for you, lad. You deserve all the happiness that life brings to you."

"Thank you." He muttered. Thomas gestured for her to lift the lid of the box and see what he brought for her. She hastily removed the lid to the small red box and her eyes filled with tears as she saw the contents.

"Oh … Thomas" She lifted a pair of glass coasters from the box. The coasters were composed of two four by four sheets of glass and between the glass there laid a beautiful array of pressed flowers. Each one was a different shade of lilac and branched through the glass like veins. The coasters were neatly rimmed with a cherry mahogany wood and made the flowers look framed.

"It's heather." Thomas said.

"Aye."

"I thought –" He stumbled about his words, trying to convey the meaning of the gift. "Well, I thought it would remind you of home. I know it's nothing, extravagant or –"

"It's perfect." She inhaled deeply and rose from behind her desk, tears welling in her eyes. Thomas followed suit and rose, waiting for what he knew was coming. Elsie enveloped him in a tight hug, which he returned in earnest. Although he would never admit it to her, Thomas had a kind eye towards Elsie. He looked up to her much as a son would look up to his mother, and there was not one day that passed by when he didn't think of how he wanted to make her proud. From the lowest points of his life she had carried him, steadied him like no one else would. She had coaxed him into living, into breathing once more.

And for that he would be ever endowed to her.

 _Happy Christmas, Mrs. Hughes._

* * *

"Champagne?" He questioned, standing behind her as she sat on the couch. His hand stretched by the side of her face as he held a chilled glass of champagne for her to take.

"Thank you."

"Mhmm." Charles made his way to the far-left side of his living room, where a bookshelf stood. Large and wide and housing all the novels he owned, as well as his extensive record collection. "What would you like to hear, my dear?" He trailed her fingers along the thin sides of his records, feeling each one bump beneath him.

"Surprise me." Elsie lazily sipped on the champagne he had handed her and gave a low moan as it traveled down her throat. Charles' ears perked at this but he had refused to acknowledge it, for she was already a tad tipsy and he would never want to take advantage. "What time is it?"

Charles glanced at his watch.

 _9:57_

"Good lord, will this year ever end?" She chuckled to herself and sipped once more on the glass before settling it down on his coffee table. Elsie watched as he padded about his living room, record in one hand, champagne in another. "What have you got there?"

He ignored her question and settled his glass by his large record player. Lifting the protective lid, he pulled the record from its sleeve. Gently he lifted the needle and placed the round disk on the plate, replacing the needle and waiting for the sound the play. A familiar voice echoed through his flat and she smiled.

Of course.

"Abbey Road?"

He turned and grinned at her, this lovely woman curled on his couch. Charles nodded and picked his glass up, settling down beside her.

"You're very quiet this evening." Elsie acknowledged, "Is everything all right?"

"Mm. Just thinking." Charles swirled the sparkling liquid in his glass and listened as Elsie shifted beside him.

"About?"

 _Us,_ he had wanted to say. Shrugging his shoulders, he sighed, "It's been a very long year, Els." Shakily he rubbed the palm of her hand, intertwining their fingers. He felt her squeeze and rub the backs of his larger hand feeling the ridges of his aged body.

"Very long." She mumbled. They sat that way for a while, listening to the soothing sound of the The Beatles and their music. One song flowed into another, lyrics and instruments thrummed through their minds and for a while that was the only thing they thought of.

"Oh, I love this song." Elsie's comment broke the silence, her head lolling to the back of his couch. Slowly and steadily she whispered the lyrics to the song.

 _Here comes the sun, and I say it's all right._

Charles watched her as she sang, happy to be able to hear her voice once again. With ease, he stood and extended his hand to her.

"Dance with me." Her eyes traveled to his hand and quirked a brow at his forwardness, "Hurry. Before the song is over." Happily, she rose and they made their way in the middle of his living room, champagne long forgotten and the fire still ablaze in the furnace. Much like when they were younger, he pulled her close to him and swayed to the music. He mumbled along to the song and his voice sent shivers down her spine. Charles pulled back and motioned with their joined hands for her to give a twirl. She laughed and he pulled her towards him again with her back to his chest and their arms locked in front of her bosom.

They were happy.

 _Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting._

Their swaying slowed as they felt the song ease into an end.

They stopped when the next song began to play, their breath a bit labored and smiles planted on their face. Silly as it may be, the song had transported them back to happier times. Where rules didn't apply and there were no obligations to be met. Where they were young and free to be who they wanted. When times were simpler.

With her back still to his chest and their arms in a locked embrace she twisted his watch so she could see the time.

 _10:32_

She sighed.

"Are you hungry?" He mumbled in her ear as they parted.

"Peckish, perhaps." Fixing her hair, she watched as he took their empty glasses back into the kitchen to pour them another taste of champagne. The domesticity was a bit unsettling to Elsie. It was true that they had been the closest of friends for longer than she could remember but, what they were doing was far from the walls of friendship. Maybe now would be a good time to bring up that she would like to gently part ways from their arrangement. Something was bubbling, ready to boil over and ruin everything. She could feel it deep in her belly just waiting for the right moment to destroy all those years together.

She was a fool for thinking that this could have gone on.

Elsie rubbed the back of her neck and walked slowly to the kitchen where she joined Charles.

"I've got some biscuits if you'd like?" He held up a box, "Chocolate, your favorite."

"Charles." She quietly whispered.

"Or - strawberries?" He poked his head into the refrigerator and pulled out the tub of fruit, opening the container and popping one into his mouth. "Would you like some?"

"What?" Elsie's mind was elsewhere, watching as he slipped the ripe red fruit between his wet lips. Licking and sucking the remains of the juice from his thumb and forefinger.

"Strawberry?" Charles held up the fruit the same finger that he just defiled with his tongue. He motioned for her to capture the berry within her own mouth. Instinct told her to take it, to which she did. Letting the cold fruit slide into her mouth with his warm fingers, her eyes closed briefly and if she thought long and hard she could almost taste the essence of him in her mouth. Charles withdrew his fingers and watched as she chewed on the sweet treat, allowing her to swallow before her asked again.

"Are strawberries and biscuits all right then?" He licked his fingers once more, not acknowledging that they had both inadvertently exchanged saliva. Elsie noticed though. Time slowed as she watched him place him fingers back in his mouth and she imagined what he would taste like.

Champagne and strawberries.

 _She moaned._

* * *

"Time?"

 _11:23_

"Damn."

They had just finished their treat of strawberries, chocolate biscuits, and the rest of their bottle of champagne. Both Elsie and Charles were feeling the effects of the alcohol as they sat close to the fire. They had removed the table from where it was normally placed, laying a few pillows on the plush carpet to create a quaint haven in the middle of his living room.

The music had long stopped and the record lay motionless in its box.

They lay talking of the past year and how heart-breakingly sad it all was.

"He didn't deserve you, Els." Charles mumbled as he fiddled with the strings at the bottom of one of the blankets. "He was a damn fool."

"Ugh! Please, Charles." She rubbed her face with her hands, "Enough of him, please. What is done is done."

"You weren't singing that tune last week." He mumbled, the alcohol speaking for him more than he would have liked it to.

"Perhaps I've changed my _tune,_ mister." Her blue eyes bore into his and they shined in the light of the dying fire. "You don't know me." She huffed and folded her arms.

"I know you more than you know yourself, little one." Charles smiled softly and directed his gaze to his watch once again.

 _11:27_

"Don't call me that when I'm cross with you."

Alcohol does funny things to people.

For Elsie, her mood changed like the phases of the moon.

For Charles, he poetically spoke his feelings and not giving a damn of what he may say.

"You have a birthmark on your left buttocks."

"You've slept with me, of course you would know that! And I've had it since I was a bairn." Elsie's accent deepened and she felt the alcohol rush to her cheeks, giving her a flush about her face. The tendrils of her hair had escaped the bun that failed to hold up her curled auburn locks. Charles was mesmerized when she spoke, his body thrumming with emotions he thought he had hidden long ago.

"You're beautiful but you don't realize it."

Elsie unfolded her arms and felt her heart start to race. Her eyes growing misty refusing to meet the gaze of her admirers as they bore into her skin.

"You've got the softest skin, Els. Like satin." Charles softly shut his eyes, furrowing his brow as he imagined her. Her body was spread on his bed, white sheets blending in with her creamy skin as she writhed beneath him. "And your hair, like silk." The tendrils spread across his large pillows, encircling her face like an angels' halo. Moaning his name.

Elsie's bones felt like they were shaking as he spoke so lovely about her.

"Your voice, by gods." He rolled down onto one of the pillows, staring at the ceiling as he envisioned her. "Highland witch, beckoning me with your wicked words and smooth sweet voice."

She chuckled lightly, twisting a curl between her fingers.

"Freckles. More than I ever imagined. They travel through the slopes of your body in places that I never – and I have imagined. Between your thighs and your breasts."

Her head jolted to where he lay as he spewed words of his imaginings, thoughts he must have had long ago.

"Like constellations." Charles sighed heavily and felt his heart drop low. "Do you remember when we first met?" They stared at one another, eyes too hazy to convey what was happening between them.

"We were so young … And you were so – so beautiful. With long hair and choppy bangs and a face like I had never seen. We were in a history class, something to do with politics or business, I can't quite remember. But, you sat down beside me that first day, asking me if I had a spare pen." Elsie felt herself be transported back to when they were in college, fresh from their youth. "You smelt of lavender and vanilla. Sweet." She watched as he licked his lips, as if he was wishing for the taste of her skin.

"I was so enthralled with your sharp comments, you knew everything I didn't. We were almost like a puzzle in that sense, fitting perfectly together. You had laughed at my jokes, smiled at me so kindly. I thought – foolishly thought that you were flirting with me. Ha." Elsie shook her head as he laughed but her voice did not seem to reach her throat. "Daft as a door nail I was. Of course, I was never much of a lady's man. I figured that no one could ever want me. Virgin at 25."

Elsie's eyes filled with tears, fast and ready to flood.

"I imagined all those years ago, what it would feel like, my first time, with you. You would have been kind to me, and not laughed." He swiftly shut his eyes and tried to shake the memory from his mind. "I was going to ask you on a date before class ended because I wanted, no I needed, to see more of you. I hung on to every word you said to me, I wanted you to share everything."

Silence fell over them once again, neither one acknowledging the quietness.

"Class was dismissed early, I never got the chance. We walked out together, I was so immersed in your being. The way you walked and talked and spoke your words with that heavy Scottish accent you used to have." Charles inhaled deeply, taking in all the clean air he could hold. Slowly releasing, polluting the air once more with the words he spoke, "He was waiting for you of course. You ran into his arms, kissing him fervently."

The tears spilled from her eyes and she bit her lip to keep the sobs from escaping.

"I've never felt them. Your lips. Pressed against my own, I wished to taste you. Slip my tongue against yours and consume you. All these years, you've been with _him_. You should have been with me, Els."

Elsie's heart hammered in her chest, her tears cascading down her red cheeks.

This is what she had feared; the pot had boiled over.

"I've waited so – so long. We should have married, had children. Had a life. You should have been mine. A lovesick dog I've been, waiting for the moment when you came to me and told me you felt the same." Charles pushed himself up into a sitting position, turning his head to see the woman whose emotions were spilling forward.

"I'm sorry." She muttered.

Charles cupped her cheeks, wiping away the tears that fell in a heavy stream. Her body slackened, her hands connecting with his own as they rested upon her face. She brought them to her lips, placing a warm kiss upon his fingertips, his palms, his wrist. She felt his pulse against the tip of her tongue.

"I'm sorry." Folding their hands together they sat facing one another. Her tears had ceased and they just sat quietly listening to their steady breathing.

 _I'm sorry, too._

* * *

"Happy New Year!" they heard from the streets. Cheering and the sounds of horns and hollering reached through the windows of the flat.

A new year.

 _Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?_

Charles cupped her cheek once more, pushing them closer together. His hands buried into her hair, searching her eyes for some sort of approval. She sighed and pushed her cheek further into his embrace.

 _Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and days of auld lang syne?_

Their faces were close, closer than they had ever been. It was what they need, what they craved. Elsie's eyes shut, her lips parted. Charles eyes captured the vision in front of him.

Thirty years of waiting.

Thirty years of wondering.

He pressed their lips together.

 _And days of auld lang syne, my dear._

She inhaled deeply, the scent of him enveloping her being. The beating of their hearts thrummed in time together, creating a song all on their own. Elsie tilted her head, allowing him to press into her further. Their tongues met and she moaned.

He parted their embrace, running his thumb along the bottom of her full lip.

* * *

 _What have you done to me?_

 _I've loved you._

* * *

 **7,002 words.**

 **All of which I hope you enjoyed reading. Thank you so much for the support and I shall see you soon.**


End file.
